Privilege

[andrewducker]

There's been a meme going around about privilege, which was vaguely interesting in its own right.

More interesting, though, is the post here that heron61 pointed me at, about what kind of privileges make a difference at college/university level, including all sorts of things you might never have thought of.

I, by the way, am terribly privileged. Partially because of money, which was always there for the things that mattered when I was growing up. Which doesn't mean large amounts of expensive foreign holidays (when we went abroad it was usually in a cheap, off-season way - we went to Austria by coach, for instance). But it did mean that when I needed additional tutoring to get through my English GCSE it was possible, and when I needed another year to get my degree it was never going to be an issue. Of course, nepotism helped with cash too - because my father was a doctor when I needed a summer job I was working at the hospital without any problems. And of course, I was working in IT because my father was buying computers before they were either popular or readily affordable for the general populace.

The other, and much more important, part of my privilege was growing up with educated parents who had huge numbers of books, watched documentaries and generally made sure I grew up interested in the world around me.

When I was a teenager I remember one of my brothers telling me that the kids in their class did not believe that we sat around a dinner table each evening, eating together and talking about what we'd been doing that day, or anything else that occurred to us. We could ask my parents questions and generally speaking _they would know_. Most of the other kids were eating while staring at the TV. I can't quantify the difference this made to my life, but all three of us are now well educated and earning a fair bit more than the median UK income, so I'm not about to start complaining.

Comments

[meaningrequired.livejournal.com]

My family almost never ordered take out. My grandmother was Head of Food, and thus every single evenings we had a meal cooked from scratch, even things like mince pie.....

Looking at that questionnaire, makes me feel mildly embarrassed, I've always been thankful for what my grandparents provided, but it sets the idea firmly in my head that I had a very privileged background.... and still do, because they were willing to fund my PhD.

However, I know how important it is for independence. From about age 19, I became financially independent from my family. I didnt ask for or need money from them. This was something important to me, to do. It was one of the few areas I could exert control over.

My MSc year was a bit different. There were a few occasions I had to ask for money to stop me going into my overdraft. Back then I thought going into one's overdraft was a terrible terrible thing and must be avoided. Now I know its a tool for dealing with tight months.

I think having financial comfort makes a HUGE difference. My grandfather's side of the family is quite well off, and I think its no crazy correlation that they're all doctors or professors or other people at/have been at the top of their career. I was always able to do what I wanted - but I wish I'd been pushed more to do things.... like piano lessons, rather than me saying "no dont want lessons, just like playing" I should have been told that that was all well and good but lessons were important to develop this. I was pushed when I was horse riding, because I was competing, and I really stopped enjoying it when it was about achievement. I felt the same way about ice skating. Competition didn't motivate me at all.

However, my parents are completely different, both stopped education around age 14... neither have any university experience. Neither read books. Both are very practical people. My mum is amazing at DIY and can fix anything. My father was basically an engineer and understands how things are put together... also was... a nurse of sorts... due to circumstances which I may explain another time.

I hope I've inheirted the best of both worlds.

[a-pawson.livejournal.com]

My family almost never bought take-away either when I was growing up either. We probably only ate fast-food once or twice a year, if we were very late home from somewhere. I suppose because of this, fish'n'chips or chinese was like some sort of incredible treat when I was growing up.

Eating out was reserved for special occasions too, it was a big thing to go to a restaurant or a pub for food, something usually reserved only for birthdays or perhaps Sunday lunch when the grandparents were visiting.

I've often wondered if either of these things was unusual. My parents had an above average income, and there are certainly no shortage of fast-food outlets in the town so there was plenty of opportunity.

I also wonder whether the eating of fast food, or not eating it was the privilege.

[andrewducker]

Same here. More frequent than you - we'd have fish+chips once a month or so, and chinese/indian a couple of times a year, but it was definitely a special thing.

I think part of that was that they just didn't see the point of buying in food when they could make it themselves - and both of them were good cooks.

[ishkhara.livejournal.com]

I third that. Takeaways were seen as a special treat and very exotic! *lol*

A trip to the cinema was another special treat, although much more frequently than the takeaway food, since it involved a trip to Falkirk and usually afternoon tea at the Victorian teashop round the corner. I think the 'specialness' of the whole experience is what fostered my love of film. :)

[a-pawson.livejournal.com]

That may have been something to do with it. Both my parents can and indeed do cook.

[ishkhara.livejournal.com]

Very interesting indeed. My parents don't really fall into the categories provided in that meme but I have always considered myself to have come from a privileged background because of their attitude to both education and provision for my brother and myself.

My father is a plumber/pipe-fitter and my mother has had various jobs, including head of the secretarial pool in an office, personal assistnat to the director of a fruit market and finally dinner lady (at my primary, so that she could be at home when I was). However they had a great attitude to saving and set up an account for me as soon as I was born, later investing the money in stocks and shares and finally pooling the cash into a Tessa so that I never wanted for anything growing up. The money from my life assurance policies, shares and the Tessa account were handed to me on my 16th birthday and I continued to invest. Thus, when it came to buying my first flat I didn't have to scrape for the deposit or worry about furnishings - I had a very tidy sum waiting for me.

When I was a child my dad used to take me to the mueums and galleries while my mum was at the hairdresser and they both read to me every day until I could read myself. They always encourage learning and did want me to go to university, although I hope they weren't dissapointed when I decided it wasn't for me. Bizarrely enough they were even criticised for teaching me too well when I started primary school. Which I started a full year early: uncommon at the time.

My parents worked hard to give me everything I have and I will always be grateful to them for giving me such a good start in life. :)

[ishkhara.livejournal.com]

Argh, damn typos! I shouldn't try to answer these philosophical questions quickly while I'm in work! *lol*

[xquiq.livejournal.com]

I've avoided the meme so far, as I find it a bit narrow.

It's interesting catching up with old school friends and seeing where they are now. Most of my school friends came from similar economic backgrounds, though within that there was a fairly broad social mix and very different priorities.

Anecdotally, what I've seen so far is that the children who were actively encouraged to succeed, to learn and to push themselves are the ones who have done well.

[random-redhead.livejournal.com]

we ate at table and discussed our days, had lots of books and were pretty knowledgeable about current affairs. but my generation is the first in my family to go to university. my Dad worked for IBM in the 60s. I work for less than the median. I wish I could go back and fix whatever it was I did wrong.

[andrewducker]

Maybe you didn't do anything _wrong_ - maybe you just didn't make choices with money in mind.

Do you like your job? Are there other jobs you'd like more? And if so, what are the routes there?

And other such questions you've no doubt had circling your mind quite enough without prodding from me?

sorry, you get the nightjeebs version.

[random-redhead.livejournal.com]

I used to like my job, but it is beginning to suck lots. I am just not good at the current capitalist expansionist marketing economy work place. I want to do a job, do it well and for that to be enough. I don't want to have someone permanently pushing for more/ higher performance indicators, I believe that there will always be major factors beyond my control and that the market has a size limit. Constantly being pushed to achieve more, do more get more, sell more: Its not good, its not fun, its not healthy, its not Right. I want to get away from those attitudes and management styles.
But realistically I don't think its possible.

Also, for the looking for something else, I don't know what people do. What jobs are out there that i could consider. I can rule out medicine and law (too much study to get there, even if I could) retail is shite, catering is worse, teaching and care work: I hate people, IT: I'm shit with computers, call centre: I don't have good languages, financial institution: too much like sales these days, ..... and so on and so on.

I will get round to finding something else, but I wish I had thought about it more at school, about income and standards and opertunities. Downsizing is a rich person's concern. a less endowed person can't "upsize" their life.

Re: sorry, you get the nightjeebs version.

[andrewducker]

Sorry this took so long to reply to - but I kept feeling a proper reply was necessary.

What job is it you do at the moment? And what kind aptitudes do you have/what do you enjoy?

Re: sorry, you get the nightjeebs version.

[random-redhead.livejournal.com]

I currently manage a charity shop. so that has all the skills of retail management plus a lot of product knowledge and dealing with volunteers. normally I would count people skills as a strength of mine but atm I hate them all. I have a great phone manner. I quite fancy PA type things but I don't have the computer skills.
realistically I want a window, I want good work life balance, I want to be able to take holiday and sick time. I would prefer not to take a pay cut (under 16k, not hard surely). I like moving around but prefer not to be outside in bad weather. I would not mind studying but don't want to waste time with a pointless qualification.
i am sick fed up of rude people.

Re: sorry, you get the nightjeebs version.

[andrewducker]

It does sound like PA stuff would work quite well for you. I doubt you'd need a huge amount of computer experience, to be honest - if you picked up an ECDL or similar (done easily in a short evening course) you'd almost certainly be able to get yourself something.