The Dichotomy of Cats

[andrewducker]

The following lines leapt fully-formed into my head mere moments ago.  Whoever writes the best follow-on verse will win eternal fame and fortune.

Pussy-cat, Pussy-cat, aren't you so cute
If only you weren't such a murderous brute
...

Comments

[drainboy.livejournal.com]

Here's an attempt

Pussy-cat, Pussy-cat, aren't you so cute,
If only you weren't such a murderous brute,
Your furry soft claws and your razor sharp smile,
Your adorable nature of death-in-a-while.

death-in-a-while.

[thefirethorn.livejournal.com]

ooooooooooooooooooooooh.

You win.

[onceupon.livejournal.com]

I suck at rhyme. *sigh*

I so wanted to win eternal fame and fortune too!

[catamorphism.livejournal.com]

It scans better as "aren't you cute".

[derumi.livejournal.com]

Eh, I don't have one for that, but maybe you'll have one for this:

Hush little baby don't you cry
Or momma's gonna have to say good-bye

[nickys.livejournal.com]

... Pussy-cat, Pussy-cat, what have you there?
The corpse of a little mouse under my chair.

[thefirethorn.livejournal.com]

YES!


...I don't WANT that dead bird,
I don't WANT that rat
or the half-eaten shrew that you left in my hat.

[guybles.livejournal.com]

I started humming Tom Jones to my myself, as your lines broadly scan with the lyrics to "What's New Pussycat". Hence:

...
I'll soon be feeling your sharp little pussy-cat claws.
Pussy-cat, pussy-cat, I loathe you.
Yes, I do.
You, and your pussy-cat ARRRRGH LITTLE BASTARD JUST STABBED ME IN THE THIGH!

[octopoid-horror.livejournal.com]

A purr, a yowl and flesh-tearing claws
Whoever would have thought that Death
Stalked on such cute little paws?

A nose that's icy on a winter's morn
And teeth that nip, invariably, at dawn.

TS Eliot this isn't, alas, that's true
But how can we resist the ever-insistent "Mew!"

Skimbleshanks or MacAvity would spin in their grave
Although I only said that so as to rhyme with "lathe"

Reading this far, you deserve some sort of award
Unlike Lassie, cats are no help
Especially one one shouts "Man overboard!"
A snooty glance, perhaps a frosty blink
Most cats need little more to convey what they think

Their tails are lithe, furry and wriggly,
Though little now follows, except for "giggly"

In my albeit limited experience, cats rarely wear hats
And attempting to force one, Oh! The hissing spats!

In conclusion, to summarise, onwards to the end!
A cat is never, ever a trustworthy friend.

They're duplicitous and sneaky, they manipulate and inviegle
In my well-reasoned opinion, they probably ought to be illegal
But, when all is said and done, they are ever so endearing,
Even if, to be honest, at this poem they would be sneering.

[stillcarl.livejournal.com]

Pussy-cat, Pussy-cat, aren't you so cute
If only you weren't such a murderous brute

Please Sir, Please Sir, it's not just we
Look what kind man did in the last century