andrewducker | Life with two kids: More sleep and sharing

Gideon goes to sleep next to Jane. Always has done. It's generally pretty quick, he settles in, snuggles up to her, and falls asleep.

About 5 months ago we started him sleeping in his own room - Jane would put him to sleep, in the bottom bunk under Sophia, and when he woke up (somewhere between 12 and 3) I'd bring him back to our bed so she could put him back over (because trying to settle a screaming beast next to Sophia when she was trying to sleep felt unfair and unworkable).

And this worked really well. We'd get a few hours of sleep in a block, and on two occasions he slept all the way through the night, so that we woke up at 7am worrying that he'd died.

And then we moved home for the renovation and he switched to sleeping with his sister in the double bed here. And because he's a wiggly beast who rotates in his sleep he would wake her up and she'd wake him up, and they'd both sleep badly, with him coming through earlier and not sleeping through the night at all.

We tried having me take him in the night instead - taking him through to the spare room with me. But the shouting could be heard from the moon, and so those attempts didn't last more than ten minutes.

And then about a week ago I had a sudden thought, and when he woke up at 2am I just climbed into bed next to him, gave him a hug, and he went back to sleep instantly, and stayed that way until 5am. I slept badly next to the twitchy beast, but Jane got a much better night's sleep, and so I was delighted to be able to do my share of nights.

So we started alternating. Except that 4 days later he suddenly slept through the whole night until 6:30 without waking at all. And then he did it again. And then for a third night.

Last night he woke screaming at half past midnight and then kicked Jane in the head all night. But we now have proof of concept that he *can* sleep through the night, and so I have hope that tonight will be a better night.

In other news they've been playing together a bit more. Not that they don't spend lots of their time at home chasing each other in circles (and then complaining loudly that the other one is chasing in the wrong kind of circle), but today on the bus to nursery they shared a tablet between them and first played a two player game against each other (taking turns to launch balls of fire from catapults at each others castles, scream-giggling "Naughty naughty!" whenever their own tower was hit) and then solving puzzles together in what seems to be an app designed to teach basic programming skills (you issue a series of commands to a cop to get them to reach a doughnut). They're still terrible at sharing, but not quite as terrible as they were a few months ago.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

cmcmck

Progress progresses!

I have to admit that odd times I had to cover for a reception class when I was deputy head made me realise that early years teachers really do earn their money!

From:

andrewducker

Oh yes. I don't think I'd be good at it at all!

From:

gingicat

May the upward trend continue!

I'm glad your renovations are done.

From:

andrewducker

Oh, we're not home yet. This is all still happening in our temporary home. We should be back in our proper home at the start of February.

From:

mountainkiss

I cannot begin to tell you how happy “the wrong kind of circle” has made me.

From:

marymac

We're currently in the throes of "the wrong kind of tractoring". I have no idea how you can tractor wrong be there you go.

From:

aldabra

Oh God yes I remember at three in the morning with a completely asleep completely immobile K having to resist the urge to poke her to check she was still OK. It was completely impossible to sleep myself because *why* wasn't she screaming inconsolably?

From:

cmcmck

I'm tempted to ask some of the local farmers! :o)

From:

andrewducker

So far as I can tell, anyone playing with a 5-year-old is doing things wrong All The Time.

From:

andrewducker

I used to rest a hand on their chest to make sure it was going up and down.

Nowadays they thankfully breathe loud enough to tell more easily.

From:

andrewducker

You gotta run in the right ones, or they get very upset.

From:

mountainkiss

HOW DO YOU KNOW

From:

marymac

I have spent far too much of my life in the past year admiring tiny alterations in Lego constructions and then being shouted at for admiring the wrong bit...

From:

andrewducker

Based on the volume.

From:

marymac

I mean there are definitely ways to tractor wrong! Czechbtractor rallies are required viewing in our house and it's amazing how many ways you can tractor wrong given enough enthusiasm and enough mud, but none of these options are really available with a toy John Deere on carpet!

From:

mountainkiss

Area?

From:

andrewducker

The louder they are, the worse you are circling. Do things that correlate with the volume lowering and you will eventually reach optimum circling. (Although there is, alas, a failure mode where the volume continues at the same level until something distracting happens, which might be entirely unrelated.)

From:

mountainkiss

Oh I see! I thought you meant the volume of the circle, which isn’t a thing

From:

andrewducker

Of course they do! It's just the area of the circle multiplied by its height*!

*Which is zero. But presumably a bigger zero for larger circles ;-)

From:

mountainkiss

Circles have no height. They are two-dimensional. You’re thinking of cylinders.

From:

andrewducker

I never think of cylinders. Point of principle.

From:

mountainkiss

You would if you had a mathematics degree and were required to add height to a circle.

From:

andrewducker

You mean extrude it into the third dimension?

Sounds complicated.

From:

mountainkiss

It’s not mathematically complicated at all.

From:

calimac

It's not just kids. My mother would fall asleep in the car while I was driving and be, as far as noticeable, absolutely motionless. It was a little disconcerting.

From:

andrewducker

I can totally see that.

I think I'd rather have the snoring.

From:

darkoshi

Ah, your phrasing "we moved home" threw me off too, thinking you had moved back home.
I'm surprised that kids around Gideon's age would still be waking up screaming. What does he scream about? Bad dreams? Hunger? Is he able to verbalize what is bothering him? Or is he afraid of being alone at night without a parent?

From:

andrewducker

Aaah. "Moving home" just means "Changing where your home is" in this sense. Different to the "Moved to home" sense of the same phrase. I can see how that would be confusing.

And it's hard to tell. I think it must be nightmares at least some of the time. But he's not good at communicating whatever it is.

From:

channelpenguin

Sounds just like being a developer dealing with clients...

From:

ljgeoff

Data point: my now-23 year old son, our youngest, slept with us on and off until he was seven years old. Not that I would wish that on you, but just to say that he seems to have turned out ok.

From:

andrewducker

I'm sure *he* would be fine.

But he rotates, twitches, kicks, and is generally a menace.

So we would very much like him in his own bed so that we can get a decent night's sleep.