Blocked by pride

[andrewducker]

I find myself avoiding making journal updates when my head is fuzzy. I want to be liked and admired by the people on my friends list, and I'm well aware that I've been added by many of them because I write well enough to be interesting to them despite the fact that they don't really know me.

This leads to me avoiding making personal updates when my head feels fuzzy, and filling my journal with amusing links to elsewhere or with polls to inspire discussion. While I'm happy to have both of these in my journal, they seem to swell to fill any gaps left over when I stop posting my actual thoughts.

I think I need to force myself past this self-consciousness, to post even when I'm worried that I might be too fuzzy to make perfect sense. I'd like to get numerous aspects of my personality out on the internet not just the analytical side.

Strangely, just sitting here typing this has helped clear the fog somewhat. It's good mental exercise, picking the right words out of the air and pinning them to the screen. I sholdn't be ashamed when they aren't the perfect words. After all, who's going to remember this tomorrow?

Comments

[rainstorm.livejournal.com]

the best way to feel better, whether it's because you're angry or sad or just fuzzy aorund the edge, is very often to write about it. sometimes when writing you find things out about yourself because you have to search a little deeper for the words that sum up how you feel - you can tell which words fit and which don't more easily when they are solid in front of you. most of the time when i rant on my journal, it's true at the beginning and then i've calmed down by the end.

[andrewducker]

Hey! I thought you said you were no good at thinking clearly and expressing yourself?

That was great!

[rainstorm.livejournal.com]

sometimes things snap into place.

i'm a lot more insightful when i've had a decent night's sleep.

[andrewducker]

Off to bed with you!

[rainstorm.livejournal.com]

i slept very well last night. it was quiet and dark and after writing a bit of a letter to Nick, i just lay down and slept for ten hours.

so now i'm feeling vaguely intelligent.. and have noone to talk to.

hah! the irony!

[andrewducker]

I'm glad you slept well.

I'm off to T3 tonight, so I shan't be online much to entertain, I'm afraid.

[kpollock.livejournal.com]

I really must learn to type. I keep messing up the password (despite care) and losing my posts.

You can always not post it if it turns out crap by the end. You can always delete it if it reads badly later.

A public forum (which this is) isn't always the place for all our thoughts.

[andrewducker]

Why do you have to entere a password every time?

I enter my password about once a month or so, I'm logged into LJ constantly.

Or does your work not allow cookies?

[kpollock.livejournal.com]

Other people use my machine.

I log onto multiple machines (say to let testers test code really early).

[andrewducker]

Aah, I log onto multiple machines, but nobody else logs onto any machien as me.

[allorin.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but we did have that fun occasion where I was able to write an entry in your journal. No none else uses LJ on a machine you've been logged into. If they did, they'd find themselves logged in as you if they came to LJ.

[andrewducker]

Sigh. If we were using XP they wouldn't be able to, XP keeping cookies separately from user to user.

[allorin.livejournal.com]

Eventually, my friend, eventually.

[wolflady26.livejournal.com]

I think your journal would only be improved by more personal thoughts, especially if they weren't perfect.

[ekatarina.livejournal.com]

I like to read what your write. And yes, if it isn't notable, I won't remember. If it is notable, I may comment, I may not, whatever.

Cheers,

Ekatarina

Re: Blocked by pride

[wolfieboy.livejournal.com]

I'm having similar problems although I feel even more foolish since I can't seem to even post fuzzy-headed thoughts. Good luck with your words.

Re: Blocked by pride

[andrewducker]

Bah. Force your way trough the fuzz.

I can't remember where I first heard of the cure for writer's block.

Sit down with a blank file/piece of paper and start typing nonsense words. Literally, type a random word, then another one, then another one. I'm willing to bet you don't make it more than 10 words in before you start typing something meaningful.