Battle of the introverts

[andrewducker]

When I first met Jane I told her that I was introverted. And about two weeks later she laughed at me, pointing out how many friends I have, and how much I socialise.

Last night, when I couldn't sleep at 5am, I did a Myers-Briggs test* (to check that I was still INTP - I still am). And then this morning I got her to do it too.

Turns out that I'm 61% introvert/39% extrovert. And she's 94% introvert/6% extrovert. So to her, I look all the same as those extroverted people who leave the house, and talk to other people. And to me she looks like a tiny dot, fleeing into the introverted distance.

Preempting some of the comments - if you want to claim that MBTI is just a horoscope then you'll have to explain its correlation with the Big Five.

Comments

[mountainkiss]

I'd advise being sceptical about the tests (both on line and official) independently of whether or not you find the Jungian model valuable. (Full disclosure: I have been working with clients using it for over twenty years.)

Introversion does vary in intensity and clarity of preference, but also comes in different forms. An interesting enquiry would be about the nature of the interactions you have with your extraordinarily wide network. Do you tend towards breadth or depth? Does smalltalk feel natural to you or pointless? Looking at the nature of the interactions, as well as their range and frequency, can help you to make sense of this. It's also worth reconnecting to the fundamentals of orientation and energy. Do you makes sense of yourself in terms of others or others in terms of yourself? And, in the end, do you go to people to get energy after being with yourself, or to yourself to get energy after being with people?

[mountainkiss]

Addendum: initial comment not meant to challenge *your* preference or result. It's just that it should be a starting point for your thinking, not the finish. If one (for example) tested as INTJ but identified strongly with the descriptors of INTP, it makes more sense to work with INTP than to assume INTJ because test.

[momentsmusicaux]

And introversion varies over time, I find.

For example, I am stumped by the very first question:

> You find it difficult to introduce yourself to other people.

That depends entirely on my mood and state of mind and the circumstances. Sometimes, I find it easy. Sometimes I find it crushingly awkward. I've been at events where I am quite happy to turn around to someone in the lunch queue and say hello and start chatting. I have also been to things where the same people are week in week out, and not felt able to open a conversation until months have passed and there is an opportunity that doesn't make me feel too awkward.

[mountainkiss]

That's exactly why I recommend not taking the questionnaire too seriously. It's a data point. So too is your experience of being around people, both energising and draining - what is the balance between the two? So are your reflections on the borderlines between introversion and shyness. So are your thoughts on other aspects of the definition, such as whether you tend towards breadth or depth, or how interesting the world of events and things is to you compared with the world of thoughts and sensations and feelings, or whether you go inside or outside yourself first when faced with new information or challenge, or other things too. Not everyone can be bothered with this, but if you (one, not specifically you) want it to be useful for you and support you in knowing yourself better and understanding differences with others, the best way is to work through it on your own account until you're satisfied with your own conclusion.

[marrog]

Agreed about reading the descriptions and checking them against your more marginal characteristics. There's no question I'm E, N and P, in any test, but my T/F is super marginal (yesterday it was 51:49 F:T). I usually come out ENFP, but not always. There's no question that I'm close to being ENTP, but I have a core of idealism and a belief in compassion - even though I sometimes struggle to show it - that means I will always identify more closely as ENFP, no matter how argumentative and analytical I can be at times.

[marrog]

(That as an 18 year old leaving high school I tested - and identified with - INTJ is testament to just how unhappy and far from myself I was during my teens.)

[mountainkiss]

That makes sense. if you're ENXP then your dominant function is the perceiving function (intuition) anyway, so the difference between ENFP and ENTP is less than it would be for ENFJ / ENTJ when it would be the judging function (thinking or feeling).