I'm going to go ahead and say that I don't understand why so many of my friends wouldn't friend their parents. It's not like they're talking about hookers and blow in their status messages, and every single party I've been to since I was about 25 has been perfectly civilized. (But then again, my parents probably went to far wilder parties than I've ever been to.)
I'd friend my parents. But then I have about 10 work people now, including a couple that I wouldn't feel happy exposing some things in front of anyway.
I'm old enough that I am kinda-friends with my parents. They'll always be my parents, but the relationship isn't anything like what it was when I was, say, 18.
Yeah, I'd agree that the relationship changes over time. Also, I've got a bunch of Elgg-related people in my Facebook - I can't say I filter for them anymore, but I did a few years ago when I thought it mattered. (It doesn't, as far as I can see. Unless I do suddenly actually get into hookers and blow.)
I'm in the 'don't have parents any more' camp, but I wouldn't add my parents on Facebook were they still alive.
To me, Facebook is a means of easily getting in touch with people I might otherwise have trouble getting hold of, and to a certain extent, getting to see photos of myself (generally at LARP events). I very rarely update my status, and when I do it's split between signal boosts and silliness.
I wouldn't need Facebook to get in touch with my parents or have a general idea how they are, given that I spoke to them every week, and there might be silliness or signal boosts that I'd be less likely to post if they could see it.
Also dwelling on it some more, there's another aspect to it – I can control what I put on my facebook. I can't control what other people do relating to me which might be visible to my parents – tagging me in a photo either as a joke or when it's something I'd rather them not see, or saying stuff on my wall/whatever.
Children? Again I don't have any, if I did... if they were very young I'd add them so I could keep an eye on them, if they were older I wouldn't add them (due to a combination of not needing it as a communications medium like above, and wanting them to have their own space), but would accept if they added me.
You can set your profile so that certain individuals or groups can't see certain things. It appears to let you set it so that the default is, say, friends of friends can see all pictures tagged of you, but that friend X can't see that.
The controls are very granular, but also the UI isn't as clear as it could be.
My sister is on FB, and I've not excluded her from anything. Within half an hour of Jennie getting home from hospital my mother had rung to check we were OK and ask if we needed anything.
While the specific timing of the call wasn't brilliant, it wasn't bad, and they just knew what was going on without me needing to ring them, which was useful as ringing people is always way down my list of things to do.
FB to me is a general contacts directory, if my parents had accounts, they'd be in that contacts directory.
And my father would be uploading a billion pictures of me and tagging them all, to Jennie's amusement.
Indeed. However, given that I don't use facebook much, I don't know the filtering of it (compared to, say, how I know Livejournal filtering), and I've no strong desire to learn it.
If the situation came up where someone added me on Facebook and I didn't want them to see everything, then I'd look at such. But as it currently stands, I don't have to do that, and I'm glad of it.
I quietly declined a friend request from my mum about a year ago, because although we're certainly still on speaking terms, we don't quite have the sort of relationship where I'd feel comfortable with her posting stuff on my wall, or reading stuff that I or other people have posted there. I appreciate that some people are actually good friends with their parents, and that's splendid for them, but I don't have that kind of relationship with my mum and never have - and it doesn't look like the situation is going to change any time soon. It's certainly not that I don't like her, indeed we do have quite a cordial relationship, and it's not that there's anything going on in my life that I really wouldn't want her knowing about, but in our case I think it's best to keep certain boundaries in place.
(I wouldn't be Facebook friends with my dad either, for much the same reasons, but additionally because he died several years before Facebook existed.)
My mother is a lovely person to everyone else but very emotionally abusive to me and my brother. I will never friend her on facebook again because she'd assume everything I posted was a dig at her and wouldn't understand half of what I posted about mental health issues. Also there's weirdness between her and my Dad's side of the family and I'm friends with many of my cousins. I did friend her once but restricted what she could see as I've done with other family members. She gained access to my profile through an ex-mutual friend and gave me hell for hiding stuff from her. It's so much simpler to just not add her. And now I have to block my aunt (mum's sister-in-law) who's giving me grief for grieving for my best friend and not helping my Mum move house. I offered to help but only if my carer (my boyfriend) could come with me as my anxiety issues mean I get frequent panic attacks. They do get on reasonably well and in that situation you'd think an extra pair of hands would be welcome. Nope. I was to go on my own or not at all. Unfortunately for her I chose my sanity over her needs. She's still not happy.
I don't need my parents knowing every aspect of my life. There are some things I am happy for my sisters to know that my parents I would rather not. Not to mention the fact that I don't want to censor myself and have a "don't swear" or such thrown at me. I usually say what I feel on Facebook as an extention of my thoughts. Around parents, I reel it in.
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I'm old enough that I am kinda-friends with my parents. They'll always be my parents, but the relationship isn't anything like what it was when I was, say, 18.
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To me, Facebook is a means of easily getting in touch with people I might otherwise have trouble getting hold of, and to a certain extent, getting to see photos of myself (generally at LARP events). I very rarely update my status, and when I do it's split between signal boosts and silliness.
I wouldn't need Facebook to get in touch with my parents or have a general idea how they are, given that I spoke to them every week, and there might be silliness or signal boosts that I'd be less likely to post if they could see it.
Also dwelling on it some more, there's another aspect to it – I can control what I put on my facebook. I can't control what other people do relating to me which might be visible to my parents – tagging me in a photo either as a joke or when it's something I'd rather them not see, or saying stuff on my wall/whatever.
Children? Again I don't have any, if I did... if they were very young I'd add them so I could keep an eye on them, if they were older I wouldn't add them (due to a combination of not needing it as a communications medium like above, and wanting them to have their own space), but would accept if they added me.
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The controls are very granular, but also the UI isn't as clear as it could be.
My sister is on FB, and I've not excluded her from anything. Within half an hour of Jennie getting home from hospital my mother had rung to check we were OK and ask if we needed anything.
While the specific timing of the call wasn't brilliant, it wasn't bad, and they just knew what was going on without me needing to ring them, which was useful as ringing people is always way down my list of things to do.
FB to me is a general contacts directory, if my parents had accounts, they'd be in that contacts directory.
And my father would be uploading a billion pictures of me and tagging them all, to Jennie's amusement.
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If the situation came up where someone added me on Facebook and I didn't want them to see everything, then I'd look at such. But as it currently stands, I don't have to do that, and I'm glad of it.
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(I wouldn't be Facebook friends with my dad either, for much the same reasons, but additionally because he died several years before Facebook existed.)
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