andrewducker | (no subject)

Delightful story about Hell and Cheesecake.

There's a big cheesecake. It's delicious. It's yummy. And it goes to Hell because, well, it's apple. And it used one of those apples. And if someone slices up one of those apples and uses it to make cheesecake, then, first, the cheesecake is going to be pretty knowledgeable on matters of morality, and, second, it's going to Hell. Ain't nobody ever died for the sins of a cheesecake, whatever Marie Antoinette might want you to believe.

So, anyway, this cheesecake meanders down to Hell, and pretty soon the demons are all tasting it. And they're saying, "Wow, this is pretty good."

And someone, and it's best not to say who, has the bright idea, "We should give some to the sinners."

Everyone discusses this for a while. It's kind of unusual, but, you know, they've gone through a lot of suffering---you know, with the boiling oil, and the fire, and the ice, and that room full of moths with really big heads. And it seems reasonable to everyone that maybe the sinners should get just a little bit of a break, because, hey, cheesecake.