andrewducker: (Default)
andrewducker ([personal profile] andrewducker) wrote2025-11-20 12:00 pm
nancylebov: (green leaves)

Re: 10

[personal profile] nancylebov 2025-11-21 12:24 pm (UTC)(link)
How was she at advocating for herself?
bens_dad: (Default)

Re: 10

[personal profile] bens_dad 2025-11-26 05:40 pm (UTC)(link)
This is indeed the relevant question.

Once we had left home she was good, though whether going to uni taught her
or just gave her an opportunity to use it. Even now she is better than me.
I suspect she could and did advocate for herself as a young woman.

But the real point is how was she with us when we were growing up ? I wasn't
sufficiently aware of others to be able to answer, so I showed her the article and this discussion, but thinking back on the discussion she didn't answer it. I don't think she missed out on much for our sakes, though I think she enjoyed being a stay at home mum and we had a a comparatively privileged life and dad wasn't a demanding person so I don't think she had to choose between us and her very much.
She cared for Dad when he had dementia in his last few years; that was probably the time she put someone else first the most.