andrewducker: (Default)
andrewducker ([personal profile] andrewducker) wrote2003-10-21 08:22 am
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Relationships

This theory is not true.

Well, mostly not true.

Well, partly not true.

Actually, it seems to be true an awful lot of the time.
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ext_9215: (Default)

Ick

[identity profile] hfnuala.livejournal.com 2003-10-21 03:26 am (UTC)(link)
Wow, an entire pseudo scientific description of 'chicks dig jerks'[1]. How... special

[1]Which isn't actually true. But 'chicks' don't dig whingers with a sense of entitlement.
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[identity profile] nickys.livejournal.com 2003-10-21 06:09 am (UTC)(link)
Have I explained my theory about why women seem to end up dating jerks?

Basically, nice guys take a long time to get around to asking women out because they think seriously about whether a relationship would be a good thing, whether it's worth risking the friendship for, etc, etc, so it's something they do only rarely.
Whereas jerks, because they don't really care, ask women out quite often.
Therefore, most of the time the offers women get are from jerks not from nice guys, so, statistically, women are much more likely to be asked out by jerks than by nice guys, and therefore much more likely to end up dating them.

Of course, if there was a more equal power dynamic for women asking men out themselves, rather than waiting to be asked, then the whole situation might be very different.

[identity profile] cx650.livejournal.com 2003-10-21 07:07 am (UTC)(link)
With respect, it's 2003, if a girl wants to ask a guy out she should feel free to do so.
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[identity profile] nickys.livejournal.com 2003-10-21 07:22 am (UTC)(link)
It's my impression that in general there's rather more equality between the sexes in the younger generation than there was in mine, so maybe things are improving there too.
I'd be interested to hear about any recent experiences people have of this situation.

The last time I was dating was the early 1990s, and, I did occasionally ask guys out, but I got some weird reactions from them, even when they did actually want to go out with me.
Maybe it was the sheer surprise, because not many women did ask guys out back then, but I wonder if there's an element of the old classic "what kind of girl are you?" routine, where women who admit they actually want things like sex are rated lower on the scale of desirability than women who have to be persuaded.
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