andrewducker (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
andrewducker) wrote2003-10-21 08:22 am
andrewducker) wrote2003-10-21 08:22 am
Relationships
This theory is not true.
Well, mostly not true.
Well, partly not true.
Actually, it seems to be true an awful lot of the time.
Well, mostly not true.
Well, partly not true.
Actually, it seems to be true an awful lot of the time.
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I bet the man who wrote that theory is one of those homophobes who is terrified at the mere idea of walking into gay space...
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Just because he's writing down stuff that is about het M to F and vice versa attraction, and not talking about gay attraction as well?
How do you know he hasn't got an entirely diffferent set of theories about gay people?
What does he say in there that implies any degree of homophobia? Simply the fact that's he's more interested in his own brand of sexuality than someone else's?
I just scanned it pretty quickly but it seemed to me plain at all times that he was not generalising to anything but boys-who-like-girls-and-girls-who-like-boys. I can't see what 's homophobic about that. Speaking as a het female, most of it seemed pretty accurate (if a mite obvious).
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Because the mindset he describes (if accurate, makes me grateful to be a lesbian and therefore out of it!) is the mindset of every straight man who appears to genuinely fear that every gay man he meets will want to have sex with him, and who therefore keeps all self-identified gay men as far away from him as possible. The presumption behind it is that gay men treat all men like straight men treat women, and that this is how all straight men treat women.
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But.. but.. he doesn't assume that at all. You have *no* evidence for that from what's written down. It's YOU who assume he will treat gay men as if they were straight men ie wanting to have sex with him all the time. (And that doesn't make sense anyway. Straight men don't want to have sex with gay men. Even if you assume he's incapable of understanding any mentality except that of a straight man, it doesn't make sense.)
If I was to call that anything I'm afarid it would be hetero-phobic. You're making assumptions about him simply because of his sexuality. Isn't that the kind of discrimination you're opposed to?
Just try thinking about that for a minute.
How would you feel if I wrote
"Yonmei writes like every gay woman I've ever known who only wants to have sex with other gay women and therefore has no interest in being friends with straight women or men. I bet she's the kind of gay woman who assumes when she goes to a mixed-sex party that every straight man there will try to fuck her."
Wouldn't you feel I was being prejudiced and making unreasonable & discriminatory assumptions?
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The last thing I want to do is to discuss gay politics in any shape, manner, or form, with you. Experience has shown that this is not a good topic for us two to talk about.
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Half the arguments I've seen against gays in the military have been solidly based on this assumption, though - and I've certainly encountered several straight men whose reaction to gay men was the presumption that gay men must want to have sex with them...
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cite please!
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One weird aspect of straight men is the number of them who vocally assume (and act on the assumption) that all gay men fancy all men and will try to have sex with them. This is sometimes specific, as in "I can't go in a gay bar because I don't want a man to make a pass at me" and sometimes general "Gays in the army are bad because it would mean gay men showering/sharing barracks with [real] men". The underlying assumption behind this is that laid out in the article you linked to: all straight men, that writer assumes, want to have sex with all the women they know, and will if the opportunity occurs. This is not a new idea to me - I've run into it several times before. Hence the shorthand.
A better way of putting it would be: If this writer means what he says (like others, I think he's just being a sour old cynicky-boots), I'm willing to lay money that he would be the kind of straight guy who holds as a core belief that all gay/bi men want to have sex with him. And if he is homophobic - and frankly, the kind of misogyny he displays in his writing is a kind that I frequently see associated with homophobia - then he would be the kind of homophobic straight guy who sees all gay/bi men as a threat because of his core belief that they all want to have sex with him.
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I still think it's a leap, but I can see your chain of logic.