andrewducker (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
andrewducker) wrote2019-03-29 03:06 pm
andrewducker) wrote2019-03-29 03:06 pm
Entry tags:
- advice,
- child_abuse,
- death,
- democracy,
- diversity,
- edinburgh,
- education,
- emotion,
- environment,
- epicfail,
- europe,
- fail,
- fandom,
- funny,
- games,
- happiness,
- homosexuality,
- housing,
- language,
- law,
- lgbt,
- links,
- location,
- magic_mushrooms,
- ohforfuckssake,
- plastic,
- police,
- politics,
- satire,
- scotland,
- sheep,
- snp,
- society,
- trains,
- transport,
- uk,
- viaswampers,
- wolves
Interesting Links for 29-03-2019
- Scottish rail network spending increase in bid to improve services
- (tags:scotland trains transport )
- A surge in online child sex abuse cases is overwhelming the police
- (tags:police Child_abuse uk fail )
- 3,400 applicants for 96 homes, when Edinburgh has nearly 10,000 AirBnBs
- (tags:housing Edinburgh epicfail )
- Court's ruling means police can preventatively detain people even if they have no specific intelligence linking the individual to crime.
- (tags:law uk OhForFucksSake )
- Why Asking The People Around You Is A Crappy Way Of Seeing If Your Culture's Okay. (aka Look Where The Bullet Marks Aren't)
- (tags:fandom diversity society games magic_mushrooms )
- MPs vote for LGBT inclusive sex and relationship education from primary school
- (tags:UK education lgbt )
- Why SNP MPs abstained on Boles & Clarke amendments
- (tags:UK europe snp )
- Single Use Plastic Plates, Cutlery, Cups to Be Banned in Europe as of 2021
- (tags:plastic environment europe )
- Brunei introduces death by stoning as punishment for gay sex
- (tags:lgbt homosexuality death OhForFucksSake )
- Democracy Is Two Wolves And A Sheep
- (tags:funny satire politics democracy wolves sheep )
- Why "What Three Words" is a terrible idea.
- (tags:location language viaSwampers )
- Fuck Positivity: It's Ruining Your Life.
- (tags:advice emotion happiness )
no subject
no subject
And that's an excellent tweet. I've retweeted it!
no subject
no subject
Agree also with the "Asking the people around you" one. It was 15 years ago that I first suggested to my literary society that, if it wants to evaluate how well it's serving its membership, it should ask not its current members but those who have recently dropped out, and those who've come to our conferences but not joined the society - names and addresses for these people should be easily extractable from our records. But so far as I know they never took me up on this idea.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
It is certainly true to say that pretending a difficult circumstance is positive is not likely to be psychologically healthy if it means suppressing and not dealing with problems or feelings.
It is also true to say that it's insulting and demeaning to another person to dismiss their response and overwrite it with one of your own.
However it's also true that in many circumstances, a lot of our pain is vested in the emotional dynamics of our response, and to varying degrees this is something that we can change, through how we choose to relate to it or the stories we tell ourselves or where we put our attention. That includes making a decision about how positively or negatively we are going to regard things.
I do not tell people that the main problem lies in how they feel unless they are paying me a significant hourly rate or have directly asked me for my advice or are married to me. However, it is nonetheless true that over the course of my last decade or so in this work, far more of the problems and pain I have come across have been located in the individual's response than in the circumstance, and to the extent that they have been able to do this work, they have increased their well-being. I learned in early recovery to concentrate never on the circumstance and always on what I could do with my own thoughts in order to to alleviate my suffering (or in many cases do no more than endure it with grace and maturity). That has almost universally been a better plan than trying to change the circumstance, simply because so much more of the problem lay there. I would not regard this as a universal rule, but I think it is true sufficiently frequently that I would be uncomfortable with the reverse generalisation.
no subject