andrewducker: (Calvin's Brain)
andrewducker ([personal profile] andrewducker) wrote2014-04-20 12:11 pm

Someone asked me what I thought it meant, being "grown up"

To me, it means taking responsibility for the things you can take responsibility for. We're not responsible for everything in our lives - we're surrounded by a whole sea of stuff we have very little control over - but there are things we can take responsibility for, and where we can, adults do.

It means knowing exactly where you really are in life - without lying to yourself about what you are really like - and then setting your directions from there, rather than from some idealised version of yourself that never really existed.

It means that rather than making decisions on the basis of wishful thinking, you work out what the cost will be of getting the thing you want and make a conscious decision as to whether that's a cost you're willing to pay.

It means putting in the effort to understand world around you as it really is, not as we wish it was, and doing what's necessary to cope with that. And, sure, trying to change it for the better - but from a place of knowledge, not assumptions and bias.

(None of this is easy, and nobody gets this right all of the time - I sure as hell don't. Adulthood is an ideal to strive for, not something you achieve. Oh, and it shouldn't stop you from having a damn good time and engaging in child-like fun along the way.)
ciphergoth: (Default)

[personal profile] ciphergoth 2014-04-20 12:05 pm (UTC)(link)
I can buy ice cream whenever I want!!!
teresafloyd: (Default)

[personal profile] teresafloyd 2014-04-20 02:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks for this! By this definition, I am able to see myself as a grown-up.
myka: (Default)

[personal profile] myka 2014-04-20 08:06 pm (UTC)(link)
I love this, though I don't always love being "grown up". Especially when there's a leaky boiler involved.