andrewducker (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
andrewducker) wrote2012-05-03 01:21 pm
andrewducker) wrote2012-05-03 01:21 pm
Let me tell you about myself
1. What are your favourite and least favourite things about living in Edinburgh?
Edinburgh, to me, is very much a compromise. I grew up in Kent, in a town that was basically one big commuter area for London, and in many ways I feel more comfortable in that kind of quiet setting. I used to visit London every couple of months, and every time I'd feel overwhelmed by the sheer volume of people, buildings, traffic, and general hubbub. On the other hand, cities are where things happen. If you want to have access to shops, cinemas, theatres, museums, etc. (or at least a decent selection of them) then you need to be at least close to a city.
One of my reasons for staying in Stirling when I graduated was that moving back home would almost certainly mean working in London, and the thought horrified me. I worked in Glasgow for about three years over the next decade, and disliked it intensely (I am aware that Glasgow has nice bits, but I largely associate it with huge swathes of concrete and tarmac).
I actually resisted moving to Edinburgh too - Erin had lived here, and really wanted to move back, but I was very nervous about it. But visiting her and Hal on various trips showed me that Edinburgh (a)isn't actually that large and (b)is much less crowded than many cities (except for during the festival, when the population doubles for a month of entertaining hell). It's basically a city that I can cope with.
And so my favourite and least favourite things about Edinburgh are basically the same thing - it's a city, with all of the awesome possibilities, unpleasant realities, and everyday compromises that entails.
2. How do you feel about having been to an all boys school? Would you pick single sex education for your future children?
Hell no. I find the idea that people should be separated out according to their gender apppalling. For me (and a lot of other people I knew) it meant that they never associated with a person of the opposite sex until they were 18. I'd like you to imagine the kinds of ideas that people form about those people that they never encounter in real life, and the massive shock of then learning the details about this new type of person only upon reaching university. People ought to be _normal_ to each other - they should be mixing as much as possible all the way through their lives, so that they can see them as they really are, rather than forming twisted mythologies about them.
One of the most unpleasant ideas that still has traction in society is that Men can't understand Women. Because it prevents them from even trying to do so. "Those are women, therefore any ideas, wants, demands, or feelings they have are, by definition, unknowable to me." I can think of few things more othering, or liable to make relationships insanely hard (the inverse, whereby Men are seen as simple, base creatures who cannot restrain their desires, is equally harmful, of course).
Combatting these ideas is tricky at best, but made almost impossible if you're never actually around members of the opposite sex.
3. Who is your favourite Endless and why?
Death is the easy choice, as she's likeable and friendly. But she's just too busy to get serious time with.
Dream is too difficult to deal with. Opaque, highly-strung, and wrapped up in his moods and responsibilities.
Delirium is a mess. Easy to feel sorry for, entertaining to watch from a safe distance, but impossible for a mortal to deal with on a regular basis.
Despair is just creepy. We never see enough of them to form a deep idea of their character, and that's probably a good thing.
Desire will burn your life to the ground and then laugh in the ashes.
Destiny is his duty personified. Too subsumed by his book to form any attachment to.
Destruction cut the bonds that held him, and became his own person. I like that, and I like him.
4. How do you feel about being an introvert?
I'm not convinced I am one. But it depends on your definitions. If by "introvert" you mean "someone who doesn't like being around people", then I'm not an introvert at all, as I love being around people. I get lonely very easily, and when there's nobody at home then I'll be setting up things to see people, or dropping in to say hi. Julie's and my stress over the last couple of years has significantly decreased the amount I go out, and I'm looking forward to seeing people more again after the wedding. Providing they haven't all forgotten what I look like, of course.
On the other hand, if what you mean is "Someone who gets worn out by being around people who they don't feel entirely comfortable with." then I most definitely am one. I have the whole geek thing of finding small talk very hard, and silent chunks of time where I feel I ought to be saying something, but I'm not sure what, incredibly painful. I can do it, and I can fake it well enough that most people don't think of me that way (I have dozens of backup conversation starters worked out), but after an hour or so of doing it I just want to go and curl up somewhere nice and quiet with a book/the internet and get some of my own energy back.
I do get annoyed by people who think that _everyone_ is faking it, and that nobody really enjoys small talk (because I think actually the majority of people do), and also by people who don't understand that not everyone finds it easy.
5. What book or books have had the most influence on how you see the world?
God, that's a hard one. And probably a highly embarassing one. The biggest thing was probably the writing of Robert Anton Wilson (particularly The Schroedinger's Cat Trilogy), which did a great job of taking someone who believed that there was a Right Answer to problems and converting them into someone who recognised that It's More Complicated Than That. Obviously, this goes along with a whole bunch of other reading, philosophy courses, etc. but it was his work that got me to strip some of the ideas that were stopping me from looking at the world as it is, rather than the world as I want it to be, and stop taking any of my beliefs seriously. If you're not the kind of person who does that then they won't have that kind of effect on you, of course :->
(Questions via![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
alitheapipkin, who asked them over a month ago.)
Edinburgh, to me, is very much a compromise. I grew up in Kent, in a town that was basically one big commuter area for London, and in many ways I feel more comfortable in that kind of quiet setting. I used to visit London every couple of months, and every time I'd feel overwhelmed by the sheer volume of people, buildings, traffic, and general hubbub. On the other hand, cities are where things happen. If you want to have access to shops, cinemas, theatres, museums, etc. (or at least a decent selection of them) then you need to be at least close to a city.
One of my reasons for staying in Stirling when I graduated was that moving back home would almost certainly mean working in London, and the thought horrified me. I worked in Glasgow for about three years over the next decade, and disliked it intensely (I am aware that Glasgow has nice bits, but I largely associate it with huge swathes of concrete and tarmac).
I actually resisted moving to Edinburgh too - Erin had lived here, and really wanted to move back, but I was very nervous about it. But visiting her and Hal on various trips showed me that Edinburgh (a)isn't actually that large and (b)is much less crowded than many cities (except for during the festival, when the population doubles for a month of entertaining hell). It's basically a city that I can cope with.
And so my favourite and least favourite things about Edinburgh are basically the same thing - it's a city, with all of the awesome possibilities, unpleasant realities, and everyday compromises that entails.
2. How do you feel about having been to an all boys school? Would you pick single sex education for your future children?
Hell no. I find the idea that people should be separated out according to their gender apppalling. For me (and a lot of other people I knew) it meant that they never associated with a person of the opposite sex until they were 18. I'd like you to imagine the kinds of ideas that people form about those people that they never encounter in real life, and the massive shock of then learning the details about this new type of person only upon reaching university. People ought to be _normal_ to each other - they should be mixing as much as possible all the way through their lives, so that they can see them as they really are, rather than forming twisted mythologies about them.
One of the most unpleasant ideas that still has traction in society is that Men can't understand Women. Because it prevents them from even trying to do so. "Those are women, therefore any ideas, wants, demands, or feelings they have are, by definition, unknowable to me." I can think of few things more othering, or liable to make relationships insanely hard (the inverse, whereby Men are seen as simple, base creatures who cannot restrain their desires, is equally harmful, of course).
Combatting these ideas is tricky at best, but made almost impossible if you're never actually around members of the opposite sex.
3. Who is your favourite Endless and why?
Death is the easy choice, as she's likeable and friendly. But she's just too busy to get serious time with.
Dream is too difficult to deal with. Opaque, highly-strung, and wrapped up in his moods and responsibilities.
Delirium is a mess. Easy to feel sorry for, entertaining to watch from a safe distance, but impossible for a mortal to deal with on a regular basis.
Despair is just creepy. We never see enough of them to form a deep idea of their character, and that's probably a good thing.
Desire will burn your life to the ground and then laugh in the ashes.
Destiny is his duty personified. Too subsumed by his book to form any attachment to.
Destruction cut the bonds that held him, and became his own person. I like that, and I like him.
4. How do you feel about being an introvert?
I'm not convinced I am one. But it depends on your definitions. If by "introvert" you mean "someone who doesn't like being around people", then I'm not an introvert at all, as I love being around people. I get lonely very easily, and when there's nobody at home then I'll be setting up things to see people, or dropping in to say hi. Julie's and my stress over the last couple of years has significantly decreased the amount I go out, and I'm looking forward to seeing people more again after the wedding. Providing they haven't all forgotten what I look like, of course.
On the other hand, if what you mean is "Someone who gets worn out by being around people who they don't feel entirely comfortable with." then I most definitely am one. I have the whole geek thing of finding small talk very hard, and silent chunks of time where I feel I ought to be saying something, but I'm not sure what, incredibly painful. I can do it, and I can fake it well enough that most people don't think of me that way (I have dozens of backup conversation starters worked out), but after an hour or so of doing it I just want to go and curl up somewhere nice and quiet with a book/the internet and get some of my own energy back.
I do get annoyed by people who think that _everyone_ is faking it, and that nobody really enjoys small talk (because I think actually the majority of people do), and also by people who don't understand that not everyone finds it easy.
5. What book or books have had the most influence on how you see the world?
God, that's a hard one. And probably a highly embarassing one. The biggest thing was probably the writing of Robert Anton Wilson (particularly The Schroedinger's Cat Trilogy), which did a great job of taking someone who believed that there was a Right Answer to problems and converting them into someone who recognised that It's More Complicated Than That. Obviously, this goes along with a whole bunch of other reading, philosophy courses, etc. but it was his work that got me to strip some of the ideas that were stopping me from looking at the world as it is, rather than the world as I want it to be, and stop taking any of my beliefs seriously. If you're not the kind of person who does that then they won't have that kind of effect on you, of course :->
(Questions via
alitheapipkin, who asked them over a month ago.)
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I feel exactly the same way about single sex education but the Boy's grammar school was single sex up to A level and he thinks boys learn better in that environment. Luckily we aren't having kids so it doesn't matter that I fundamentally disagree with both single sex and selective schools!
I like Frankie's definition of an introvert - someone who is drained by being around people and needs time on their own to recharge. Which makes me more of a shy extrovert rather than an introvert. But I get what you mean - spending time with people I'm uncomfortable with isn't particularly relaxing. I find small talk is easier when everyone present is in the same situation e.g. all strangers at the same event, but struggle when I feel like the odd one out in a group who know each other.
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My favourite social situation is one where there's enough energy from other people to keep the conversation going, and I can dip in when I have something interesting to say.
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Mine too, or with people I'm comfortable enough with that it doesn't matter if we sit in silence for a while.
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Having some people challenged more, and some supported, would make more sense to me than splitting by gender.
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I think I benefitted from different approaches depending on the subject. My high school history teacher made us quite competitive (making fun of people's spelling mistakes in front of the class and stuff, which some people hated) while my maths teacher was supportive and I benefitted more from being able to work at my own pace without feeling pressured.
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(For example, men are typically stronger than women. They just tend to have larger frames, and testosterone helps with muscles as well. But that doesn't mean that we should discriminate against women for jobs involving strength when we can just test the actual strength of the individual.)
I can see a lot of people loathing the history teacher's methods. They'd rather say nothing than say something that would cause public humiliation. With big enough schools you could probably let children choose how they want to learn. That would be a fascinating experiment.
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The history teacher was someone most people either loved or loathed. He was a fantastic teacher if you enjoyed being challenged but some people found him entirely too much.
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If a classroom policy only lets the really loud people talk then it's harming all the quiet boys, as well as the girls, and it needs to be sorted out.
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I tend to do my thinking inside my own head. I’ll test it for internal consistency with someone else and I like talking to people because they spark new thoughts or give me new informatino but the thinking happens inside.
I tend to think of myself as an intellectual squirrel. I emerge from nest, find a nut, take it back to nest to eat it and digest.
(Mind you some of the way I do theatre is possibly extroverted.)
I also can find being around people draining.
One of the things about the AV campaign that contributed to my recent bout of depression was that I was spending quite a lot of time trying to be inside other people’s heads. By that I mean I was trying to influence and motivate volunteers and also make sure my team understood what they were doing and were happy. That required me to spend a lot of time trying to think “If I were X what would I be thinking now.” Having to do that for more than a couple of people at the same time (when for instance, trying to mediate a potential fight into a constructive conversation) turned out to be really hard work.
I don’t necessarily find being around other people per se draining. I’ve got a never ending supply of small talk and I’m usually quite content to shift from small talk to weightier matters. I find it tiring and I wouldn’t want to do it 7 nights a week but that might be partly to do with tending to do social events standing up.
But I like being around people. I can enjoy long periods of solitude but too little interaction with others also makes me a little down. Down in a different way than if I spend all my time with other people.
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That is how I usually describe myself. Although I'm still unsure if it's that "even the social interaction that I find easiest is more draining for me than someone else" or "there's a narrower scope of stuff I find non-draining, so I'm more often in a position where I feel drained, but in the right circumstance, I'm as resilient as someone else".
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I have very much the same issue - pair me up with someone who finds talking easy, and I can have a wonderful multi-hour conversation, but with someone who's more like me, we tend to chat for five minutes then lapse into awkward silence. I'd love to see your 'Guide to Rescuing Conversations' ;)
(it's been so long since I used LJ that I can't remember if this thing actually puts real names on comments... I'm Andy Walker on FB/IRL)
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It depends on what you mean by "like me". If you mean "is quite quiet", then yeah :-> If you mean "Shares an interest in X, Y and X" then I can chat for ages about those things.
I'll make a note to write about conversations in a future post!
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(I was slightly assuming you'd made a mistake rather than thinking you didn't know Sandman well, btw!)
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This... people talk about Illuminatus more but this was my favourite of them... it remains an amazing book.
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I rather liked this feature & quiz which has the concept of an "ambivert" - yes, some of us don't fall into the simple binary oppositions that are offered! http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2012/mar/13/why-the-world-needs-introverts
Walkabout?
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Wilson's most obscure (i.e. you can't afford a copy even if you can find one) novel is Sex Magicians, which is a flat out porno made by taking all the sex scenes from Illuminatus! and expanding on them.
You'll never look at frozen orange juice the same again.
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It's no secret that Korzybski is one of Wilson's seminal influences, but he was also a tremendous fan of Orson Welles. (Arlen scripted for Welles' radio show, but I never got the details.) One of Welles' basic concerns was the problem of knowing what's what when all we know is what we see. You want to watch "F for Fake" a couple of times.
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The Endless
(I presume that this is part of the point about him moving outside his role, and trying to be things that he is not, in his fundamental nature.)
Re: The Endless