The problem with people

[andrewducker]

In her own journal, Sana said:

Mission was fun, although i did have a big wibble in my head halfway through when i realised that more and more it seems that my friends can only be happy if they've just been laid or are about to be, are fucked on drugs or are fucked on alcohol.

This is something that's worried me for a long time. It's been a point of derision for drinkers that non-alcoholics say things like "I can have fun when I'm sober." - as if it's not possible to enjoy yourself unless you're drunk. Everyone knows that alcoholism is bad, but how many people think about the fact that binge drinking is a nasty sign - that people feel they can't dance or sing or relax around each other unless they've first knocked out a fair number of their brain cells and reduced themselves to gibbering wrecks.

Now, I can understand that a small chunk of the population might be the kind of person who has neuroses about the public and can't cope with being around people. But apparently the vast majority of the population can't cope with the concept of having fun without alcohol. It's not just bad enough that most people feel that their Friday nights should be enhanced by alcohol - it really seems that the huge proportion of people aren't having fun unless they've drunk enough to stop thinking even slightly. Should it not be a warning to people that they can't have fun unless they're drunk? Should it not be a warning to society that it's members don't feel good unless they're incapable of walking?

We're stuck in a civilisation with a largely-christian hangover, where any example of enjoying yourself is taken as freakish. Try singing to yourself, or dancing while _sober_ and see how many people point and laugh or simply become embarassed that, God forbid, someone enjoy that kind of behaviour without being drunk. How many people do you know who will go to any kind of social event that doesn't largely revolve around alcohol?

Comments

[rainstorm.livejournal.com]

i find that often people will try to press drink on me because i'm don't drink. they say "but you can just drink in moderation". i don't see why they believe i have to drink. i don't want to. i have made my choice and it may or may not be permanent, but it's my choice. i have a lot of fun at the mission when i'm there, mostly because i just let myself enjoy it.

sometimes i wonder whether it's for my benefit or theirs that they try to press alcohol on me. is it to make me relaxed? or is it so they feel more comfortable because i'll be drunk too?

the only reason i might want to drink is to enjoy it - some alcohol i like the taste of and kind of miss but i can live without that if i don't have the extreme negative effects that alcohol has on me.

and that's something else people appear to not believe: that the effects of alcohol can be negative. not the getting drunk part, but the fact that when i drink just a little i get very depressed. i'm not going to go through that to make other people feel more comfortable. plus, when i was getting drunk a lot i did some horrendously stupid things that i'd rather not think about. but people so often have sad to me "but you just drink a little!" as if the thought of giving it up completely is an anathema. i don't want to drink. how hard is that to understand?

[andrewducker]

i find that often people will try to press drink on me because i'm don't drink. they say "but you can just drink in moderation". i don't see why they believe i have to drink.

It does seem to be peoples expectation that people must drunk. I occasionally fancy a drink, but it's not common at all. I've almost got to the stage where I'd rather give up alcohol entirely just so that I can say to people "I don't drink" and avoid the questions about why, if I occasionally drink I'm not drinking right now. It seems to be taken as an insult that I don't drink with a particular person - as if by not drinking I'm telling them that I disapprove of their drinking.

[rainstorm.livejournal.com]

I also find that people who know i don't drink will ask me, in a pub, if i want a soft drink and when i say "no, i'm not thirsty", they seem surprised and ask me if i'm sure. yes, i'm sure, that's why i said no. being pressured into drinking coke is a weird experience and has happened more than once to me. it's as if the mere sight of a drink (it doesn't matter what) is enough to make them more relaxed.. if that makes sense?

[andrewducker]

Yeah, it makes perfect sense. I think that people feel guilty about drinking, and so need to justify it by including everyone. After all, if we're all guilty, there's no problem is there?

[rainstorm.livejournal.com]

i do feel i get looked down on like i'm trying to make a point by not drinking. i feel like people have perceived me as being self-righteous, because i don't drink or smoke, but i'm not, i just don't feel inclined to.

if people want to drink, that's their choice. i don't want to. that's mine. it should be easy to understand, but people have such difficulty because i'm being slightly different. people make such a fuss about individuality and yet in this they seem unable to countenance difference.

[rainstorm.livejournal.com]

oh, i also meant to say..

when someone next asks me why i don't drink, i'm going to ask them why they do drink and why i should justify myself to them.