pete stevens (from livejournal.com)2011-02-12 11:57 am (UTC)(link)
Kitten DNA has evolved a subservient species called humans who will dutifully go and fight the demetors for them. The only hardship they'll endure is having the whole sofa to themselves for a snooze.
Point 1: Cats are evil merciless little sods, adept at manipulating others for their own ends, and only have feelings for others when their own needs are served. They have no souls.
Point 2: Kittens grow up into cats and therefore have no souls, just cute imitations of them.
Therefore, kittens are immune to the dementors' kisses and would win.
Kittens have a two pronged attack - if cuteness doesn't completedly disarm their enemy then they can resort to being the most destructive force known to mankind!
Without kittens, there would be nobody to eat the cheezburgers, much less catch the rats and mice growing fat on discarded cheezburgers, God would have nothing to kill every time you masturbate, Teh Internets would collapse, and it would soon become OMG END OF TEH WORLD. Kittens are INVINCIBLE.
Kittens are little bundles of loveable exciteable fluff, and the dementors would slurp that right up. If cats could beat dementors how come McGonagall doesn't just turn into a cat to get rid of them, eh?
If someone is a sex kitten, they'd be notable. (Maybe even WP:BLP Notable.) You'd probably remember getting together with one, perhaps fondly, as the years go by.
But a sex dementor ... Well. Nobody is going to forget an encounter with one of them, assuming they survive at all. And that's the horror of it, you just could not wipe if from your mind. Until you die, screaming.
(And yes, rule 34 applies. And no, it is not advisable to verify it.)
Dementors = depression, metaphorically speaking. Kittens are not, in my experience, an adequate treatment for depression. Therefore, sadly, Dementors win.
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andrewducker) wrote2011-02-12 11:52 am
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Point 2: Kittens grow up into cats and therefore have no souls, just cute imitations of them.
Therefore, kittens are immune to the dementors' kisses and would win.
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Carnage.
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"I only eat that which I kill!"
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They grow up into the mammalian equivalent of velociraptors.
No contest, really.
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And what's a "dementor" anyway?
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But a sex dementor ... Well. Nobody is going to forget an encounter with one of them, assuming they survive at all. And that's the horror of it, you just could not wipe if from your mind. Until you die, screaming.
(And yes, rule 34 applies. And no, it is not advisable to verify it.)
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