Lessons Learned

[andrewducker]

Some nice bits of advice came out yesterday on this post.

From nancylebov
1. You're alive at the moment.
2. The fact that something hurts doesn't mean everything hurts.
3. You are not uniquely defective.
3. You have some influence over things, and can probably get more skillful at applying it.
4. People who give you advice don't necessarily know what they're talking about, they may just sound right.

From philipalden
The only constant is change.
The only time that matters is Now.
Compassion, Humility, Moderation

If you have anything you can add, then I'd love that.

A request on responses - please refrain from attacking other people's advice. Life lessons are frequently personal, and what works for one person may well not work for you. If you have contradictory advice to give then I'd love to hear it - just leave it as a separate comment rather than trying to tell people that their advice is wrong.

Comments

[zz]

"Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by incompetence"
Although it means I sometimes just assume everyone's incompetent where i would otherwise assume they're malicious. :>

[gonzo21.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes, that's a good one. I always try to do that. I find myself saying a lot of stupid things in life that I didn't really mean because I hadn't really engaged brain before talking (or typing), so I tend to try and give everybody else the benefit of the doubt because of that.

[ashfae.livejournal.com]

Icon. =)

[star-tourmaline.livejournal.com]

What you think is not necessarily how things are. You may be wrong.

[andlosers.livejournal.com]

An alternate set:

1. Be optimistic. You never know what's around the next corner.

2. There is no shame in ambition. Even if you fail, at least you tried. The only things to fear are regret and inaction.

3. Be open to change. Don't ask "why?" when an opportunity arises; ask "why not?"

4. Compassion is freedom, even when it's not reciprocated.

5. Even people whose views you abhor or whose life makes you flinch have something about them that's amazing.

6. Think about the future. The only time that matters is the rest of your life, and the lives of the people you care about.

[zornhau.livejournal.com]

It IS all about you, since you only live once and there is no afterlife. However, Other People Are Real, and it's also about them.

Life isn't fair, or a story because there is no ultimate judge, no narrator.

Conviction and a positive attitue are no moral or practical substitute for reflection and planning.

The measure of whether your life and lifestyle is moral and worthy is the extent you will go to defend it.

Self contained emotional independence looks better from the outside than the inside. (The "cool" people probably just don't have anything worth saying.)

Our lives are not defined by out deaths, but being eaten by your own pets because nobody cares to come and check on you indicates some sort of failure.

We cannot control luck, but we make our own fortune.

[alextfish.livejournal.com]

One I encountered several years ago, and just recently rediscovered:

1. Don't sweat the small stuff.

2. It's all small stuff.

[mair_in_grenderich]

maybe this is similar to what i mean by "life is not that hard".

[alextfish.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'd say pretty similar. I don't take these principles to mean don't care about anything; there are many things that it's right and proper to care passionately about. But a lot of people get worked up about stuff that really doesn't matter too much, and I frequently find myself among them as well. So it's just a useful attitude to recall.

[ashfae.livejournal.com]

Icon.

[lizzie-and-ari.livejournal.com]

In keeping with the mixed up religion/philosophy that I've been grown up in/into I tend to live by a mix between:

The wiccan rede: an' in harm none, do what you will. This one does have the major proviso that 'none' ie no-one includes yourself. This links into another 'rule'; You are uniquely important. So is everyone else.

and

'Do unto others as you would have others do unto you', which Google tells me is from the Book of Matthew.

Although I've given the sources, of course the same basic message exists in a myriad of other writings/philosophies, which leads me to another maxim, which goes something along the lines of 'examine the wisdom, not the source'. You can learn life lessons from anywhere, and it's often not the places you'd expect.

Oh and also: Someone, somewhere will always be judging you. Live by your own standards. (But always keep them.)

[dpolicar]

I could probably go on for a long time here, but I'm not going to.

Instead I'll point to this post, which gets at some ideas that I consider important.

They aren't exactly advice, but then neither are the examples you cite.

[pennski.livejournal.com]

Always assume positive intent.