You are not in control

[andrewducker]

Over here there's an article on self-control, and how hard it is.  It uses the idea of first and second-order preferences, where your have both preferences and preferences _about_ your preferences.

I have a first-order preference for cakes, sweets, and other miscellaneous sugary delights.  I have a second order preference for healthy eating, which is a preference _about_ that first-order preference.  I know, however, that second-order preferences are a hell of a lot weaker than first-order ones.  It takes a huge amount of effort to modify a first-order preference, sustained over a long period of time.  Unless the rewards are high and the pressure is sustained, it's incredibly likely that the first-order preference will be unchanged.

This is why diets don't work.  You want to be skinny, but this is merely wishing, whereas your body _craves_ food, in a much stronger way than you wish you were thin.

The article neatly ties into neatly into a discussion I was having along similar lines with is_not_well recently - about the way the unconscious is largely in charge of our decisions. The unconscious is what makes most of our decisions, it contains our cravings, our wants, our demands and our first-order preferences. Most people think of their conscious mind as being in control, but largely it sits there as a top level, observing what goes on. There are plenty of studies out there that show that the conscious mind actually finds out what we're going to do _after_ we've decided to do it.

This is a pain, especially as the conscious mind is the only bit that can actually apply logic to a situation. Not that logic is always the most useful way to approach something, but sometimes it is, and when we need to attack something deductively it actually takes up huge amounts of the brain's processing power, as the conscious mind wrests control of the decision-making power for a few moments. Only, frequently, to have it wrested straight back, as the subconscious decides that one more biscuit would be an _excellent_ idea.

The mistake most people make, especially control freaks, is in thinking that they can bludgeon their subconscious into submission, and force it to do what they want. This normally leads straight into all sorts of neurotic behaviour, as the unconscious mind uses all sorts of defence mechanisms to get its way.

The only way to get long term results is to train the subconscious. Think of it like a child, or an animal, or a neural network (whichever one seems like the better metaphor to you), and correct it slowly, giving it constant feedback of the correct kind to encourage it in the right direction. You can't retrain an animal quickly, and there are some things you can never train it to do, but given time, persistence, patience and from learning what methods work best with your particular pet, you can do a lot. And generally it works a lot better than shouting at it, and then sulking when it doesn't instantly learn what you want from it.

Comments

I've not done clinical psychology for a long time...

[meaningrequired.livejournal.com]

Its awfully psychodynamic ;)

The problem with a lot of this stuff is its theoretical, its non-falsifiable. Though I feel lots of things work for different people. Often I will shrug and say "whatever gets you through".

What you're describing sounds terribly like Ego, Id and Superego. It sounds like you're describing the Id which is like a child demanding that its wishes are fufilled, and the other two trying to facilitate with reason.

I think if you believe that your subconscious needs to be trained, then training it will probably work for you.

Also, what exactly is the subconscious? when I feel stressed I feel reckless, I want to overindulge in anything that brings me pleasure. why do I do this? because its a coping mechanism, it offers temporary relief and sometimes perspective on an issue. However often it comes with damage, that only causes more stress in needing to sort things out.

Example - I get stressed, I go out, get wasted, then spend the next few days recovering. If I was stressing about not having enough time for my PhD, then I've just caused even more stress for a short period of relaxation.

I don't like to put too much distance in between the conscious and subconscious. I feel the two are often offered as two "people" who interact, but I feel the link is understated.


I'm not too fussed on the first article. There is a lot more *psychological* literature out there on decision making, cognition, drives and motivation.


On a related note, I have vague memories of depression being explained in terms of the emotion that manifests when you cannot achieve your goals. the mind checks to see the progress, and becomes more depressed when the goal is still not achieved.

[likeneontubing.livejournal.com]

The only way to get long term results is to train the subconscious.

hells yeah. i'm glad someone else realises this. people all too often think they have failed when they don't manage one of their goals. they don't see that they have probably made good progress in training their brain to think differently about that situation and to move along.

tis the madness.

[communicator.livejournal.com]

These ideas are key to the work I do as a hypnotherapist

[nancylebov.livejournal.com]

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2008/07/habit-change-is-like-chess/

Interesting piece on doing sufficient preparation to make habit change easier.

[meaningrequired.livejournal.com]

Defence mechanisms really interest me. I'm fascinated by how they develop, and fascinated that different people can develop similar coping strategies.