The world can't live up to my idealism

[andrewducker]

Way back in June I posted a poll asking whether people were satisfied with life. I meant to post something a few days later explaining why I wasn't - but as usual life intervened. I never seemed to be in the right mood to write about _why_ I'm not satisfied with life. Because I'm fundamentally not.

Which isn't to say that I can't enjoy life (I do, a lot of the time) or be happy (I am, a lot of the time) - it's just that underlying it all is the knowledge that real, actual, physical life doesn't live up to my idealised feeling of how life should be. I'm an idealist at heart - I _know_ how life should be, and I'm disappointed when the realities and complexities of actual life differ from that. Reality feels like a busted wonder, a badly specified system, a brain-damaged genius - there are occasional flashes of how it should be, and a lot of the time you can see the sheer beauty of which it's capable, but there's always a niggling feeling of failure wrapped up in it. The world should have magic around every corner, and no matter how wonderful the things in it are they just don't live up to that.

And I also know that this attitude isn't reasonable, or logical - the world is what it is, and being disappointed because it fundamentally differs from how I'd like it to doesn't help in any way. But this isn't logical - it's pure emotion, and not something I've ever found a way of dealing with. Not that it bothers me much 99% of the time - and not at all 95% of it. But occasionally, when I get into a black mood, I'm reminded of it - and that no matter what, I'm never completely satisfied with the world.

Comments

[johanna-alice.livejournal.com]

99.9% of the time I see the world through cynical, critical eyes, and my idealism taunts me with what things could be like... perhaps my imagination is too good.

What feeds that though is the 0.1% of the time where I realise there is something truly beautiful, magical or wonderful there in front of me. In those times I think I am satisfied with the world in front of me.

[ninox.livejournal.com]

It could never be perfect. Individual idealised worlds are never fully compatible. If they were and we did the context would be lost. It is part of our nature to strive for more and never be content.

I tend to enjoy the complexity of emotions and the chaos of life. Viewing it more as challenges and learning curves. It is the idea of this adaptability and change that I enjoy most. I mostly don't see things as good or bad, more a confusion of states. My mood at the time can alter perception of the same scenario.

I suppose it could be argued that I shun the idea of perfection because I view it as unachievable and prefer to have my feet in reality over idealism.

[surliminal.livejournal.com]

You need more magic mushrooms :)

[i-ate-my-crusts.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean. If I think about it too long, I start to feel like I'm not making the most of my life, and that it should be this kind of filled, energised thing.

But after about five minutes I realise I'm content and happy and pretty satisfied 99% of the time, and i go back to lounging around the intertubes. :)

[lizzie-and-ari.livejournal.com]

I disagree that life cannot be perfect - I think all life is in a constant evolving state of perfection - which is to say it will be perfect at one minute, and the next minute perfect thought utterly different.

The reason for this is balance - we are greedy and want perfection in everything we strive for and strive for many different things at once, whereas often you life will be focused in one different area .

I am very blessed and (99% of the time, Black Descensions notwithstanding etc)cannot imagine a better life than I have now. I can imagine certain elements being more ideal, but am confident that this is part of the flux, and part of growing and that they will be. Were I to have more money, more talent, flawless relationships, more time, more respect, etc etc there would be nothing left to do and I wouldn't know how to spend my days - other than creating even more of these things, which means that state would not be perfect.

Anyway, I say that not to brag - I appreciate that whatever metaphysical arguments you put on it, some states people experience are bad states - but wondered if you - or any of the others so dissatisfied with life - have reasons. My method in life is to identify things that I want and work out the best ways of getting them. This can take days, months or years, but the feeling that you are on the path can often be what provides the satisfaction in itself. This has always seemed self evident to me but as I go through life I meet more and more people who are doing jobs they are only satisfied with because they are good at them, hate where they live but they've always lived there so they carry on, and continue to buy eggs; when secretly they want to run off to Poland, live in a caravan and find new types of lace whilst living on sauerkraut. Or, you know, less extreme examples, but any variation on a genuine 'I'd love to do...x y or z' with no intention of ever doing it.

Essentially, people seem to strive towards satisfaction and stop when they have it, but being satisfied isn't actually good enough.

Anyway, sorry. They're just my thoughts today. I'm going to have to go look at shoes or something else incredibly shallow to make up for that long wankiness which may or may not make sense to any other human being.

Lxxx

[excursively.livejournal.com]

I've recently discovered that, I too, am an idealist at heart. This came through a fair amount of discovery that included deep ruminations about why I thought I was a realist, but kept getting knocked upside the head by other people's opinion of reality. Thus, my understanding, for now at least.

Your thoughts confirm my discovery. I feel exactly this way, i.e. fundamentally not satisfied. I'm trying to discern if I've always felt this way, or if it's something new, some part of getting older, for example.

While I agree that the "struggle for more" is part of our nature, I disagree with the idea that "never be content" is as well. I believe that we do have the ability to be perfectly content, even if we're not fully satisfied. It is very interesting to me, however, to think about how my idealized world might conflict with yours, and whether they could both exist despite this.

Oftentimes I find that there's only so much acceptance that I can take. And while I, too, realize this isn't logical, and that there are certain things I just don't have the ability to change, I wonder if we sometimes change things about ourselves, and even our way of thinking, in order to get a bit closer to what we think is ideal, even if logically there's no reason to do so.

[yalovetz]

it's just that underlying it all is the knowledge that real, actual, physical life doesn't live up to my idealised feeling of how life should be.

I'm not sure I quite understand this and was wondering if I could ask a few questions to help get clear in my head what you're talking about feeling here?

When you say life, do you mean your personal path in life or is it something bigger you're thinking about? If it's something bigger, is it on the scale of the global political/economic situation or on the scale of the sheer fact of the existence of rocks and trees and planets and weevils and paperclips and all kinds of other things?

Do you mean that you have an actual clear picture of the way things should be in your mind, or is it just some nebulous sense that something, somewhere, somehow should be better?

Don't feel obliged to answer, I'm just curious.

[channelpenguin.livejournal.com]

"The world should have magic around every corner, and no matter how wonderful the things in it are they just don't live up to that."

ah, but they do - to me. Now.

I wish I could tell you how I got here, but I doubt I can articulate it.

It's your world/universe/existence. You get what you want. Thing is, 'want' is much more than most people think it is...