andrewducker (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
andrewducker) wrote2002-11-09 04:06 pm
andrewducker) wrote2002-11-09 04:06 pm
Miscommunication time again
As I mentioned numerous months ago, Erin and Meredith (my brother Hugh's wife) are not on speaking terms (for reasons I really can't be arsed to go into). Numerous of my friends, in fact, don't talk to other ones.
Due to various problems, at the time of my house warming, Scott wasn't comfortable being at my flat if Joe was going to be there, so I told him that I'd invite him round when I got back (along with Rob - his flatmate, and Neil, a good friend of theirs and mine).
Neil's currently doing a PhD in London, but when I was down there I chatted to him and he told me he'd be up this weekend, so that'd be a good time for him to come over and see the new flat. I confimed this with Scott about a week and a half ago. Erin was happy because she enjoyed staying with Neil in London.
Then, earlier this week, Rob sent emails to all the ex-players of the Deadlands game that Hugh ran (including Meredith, Hugh, Me and Neil) saying that as the other player (George) was about to leave the country for 9 months of travelling, we should get together on Thursday. After much going back and forth this was agreed, especially as Meredith would enjoy the company as Hugh was off running a LARP somewhere down south.
Wednesday night I called Rob and said "Are we meeting tomorrow?" and he said "naah, George can't make it" and I thought no more about it. I chatted to Scott yesterday over MSN and confirmed I'd be seeing the trio today around 6-ish.
So I then got a call today at 3:00 from Hugh asking why I was dragging the group away from Meredith when they'd come through to hang out all together.
Apparently he'd thought that we'd just postponed the thursday meeting to today, and Meredith was feeling that I was taking the meeting (or hijacking it, or something, it was a bad mobile line) over to my place. She seems to think that I'm in danger of being turned against her by Erin. As it happens, it's pretty much impossible to turn me against anyone, and irrelevant of my feelings on the Erin/Meredith problem I'm not going to stop talking to either of them.
So I chatted to Hugh, agreed that I'd go hang with the guys and Meredith over at her/Hugh's flat until 6-ish (maybe a bit later) and then drag them over here so that they could see the place and Erin could hang out with them. I then called Meredith to talk it over with her, got a very flat response when I said "Hello" and decided to just tell her I'd be over around 4-ish to say "hi" and explain what the mixup was. I then raced around getting the hoovering done so that the place is vaguely presentable for people turning up. And now I'm going to go over and hang out and hopefully get things sorted.
In the words of the great Archibald Tuttle - why can't we all just get along?
Oh, I'm also in the process of buying a flat, but that can wait until after soothing social ruffles.
Due to various problems, at the time of my house warming, Scott wasn't comfortable being at my flat if Joe was going to be there, so I told him that I'd invite him round when I got back (along with Rob - his flatmate, and Neil, a good friend of theirs and mine).
Neil's currently doing a PhD in London, but when I was down there I chatted to him and he told me he'd be up this weekend, so that'd be a good time for him to come over and see the new flat. I confimed this with Scott about a week and a half ago. Erin was happy because she enjoyed staying with Neil in London.
Then, earlier this week, Rob sent emails to all the ex-players of the Deadlands game that Hugh ran (including Meredith, Hugh, Me and Neil) saying that as the other player (George) was about to leave the country for 9 months of travelling, we should get together on Thursday. After much going back and forth this was agreed, especially as Meredith would enjoy the company as Hugh was off running a LARP somewhere down south.
Wednesday night I called Rob and said "Are we meeting tomorrow?" and he said "naah, George can't make it" and I thought no more about it. I chatted to Scott yesterday over MSN and confirmed I'd be seeing the trio today around 6-ish.
So I then got a call today at 3:00 from Hugh asking why I was dragging the group away from Meredith when they'd come through to hang out all together.
Apparently he'd thought that we'd just postponed the thursday meeting to today, and Meredith was feeling that I was taking the meeting (or hijacking it, or something, it was a bad mobile line) over to my place. She seems to think that I'm in danger of being turned against her by Erin. As it happens, it's pretty much impossible to turn me against anyone, and irrelevant of my feelings on the Erin/Meredith problem I'm not going to stop talking to either of them.
So I chatted to Hugh, agreed that I'd go hang with the guys and Meredith over at her/Hugh's flat until 6-ish (maybe a bit later) and then drag them over here so that they could see the place and Erin could hang out with them. I then called Meredith to talk it over with her, got a very flat response when I said "Hello" and decided to just tell her I'd be over around 4-ish to say "hi" and explain what the mixup was. I then raced around getting the hoovering done so that the place is vaguely presentable for people turning up. And now I'm going to go over and hang out and hopefully get things sorted.
In the words of the great Archibald Tuttle - why can't we all just get along?
Oh, I'm also in the process of buying a flat, but that can wait until after soothing social ruffles.
no subject
As opposed to the scrunched up piece of paper I received from Meredith, scrawled in five different highlighter pens, with illegible handwriting, telling me to go fuck myself because I asked if we could sort things out, and could she not go through Andrew as it was unfair?
I was very upset at the time, and pouring my feelings out. I think pressing the return key was the last thing on my mind.
Hugh said: Ho hum, abuse on the internet from people I don't even know. I have a backbone, its the thing that stops me from flopping over all the time when I walk.
As opposed to abuse from people that you've been _trying_ to get along with for months, and still won't make the effort know you, and consign you to the 'bitch' category within days of first contact?
Hugh: As Erin has seen fit to post here, I feel I should post a reply.
But you don't actually reply to anything I said. Strange.
Hugh: As to Saturday, it was a miscommunication about what was going on.
If you re-read Andrew's journal, you'll see there's slightly more to it than that. Eg. accusations (surprise, surprise) from Meredith that I'm spending my time trying to turn Andrew against her, and that I deliberately tried to 'hijack' the Deadlands meeting. The one that I didn't even know was happening?
Hugh: The rest of the problems Meredith has with you have been there for a long time, pretty much since she's met you. Some people just won't/don't get on, the way they interact with the world is too different.
Yep. And you know the funny thing? I actually did like Meredith when I first met her. I thought she was interesting and cool and very creative and spunky. I tried to be friends with her (oh, don't start, I did, ok?) and then when I sent a note expressing my frustration with her 'go-through-Andy' tactics, and asking if we could sort things out, even if just for Andrew's sake, I was told to go and fuck myself. But as you so rightly say, she decided long before then what I was, and there was bugger all I could do about it.
Hugh: If you hadn't noticed we have been trying to leave you alone (apart from feeding your cat when you were away). So FUCK OFF.
No, I hadn't noticed, what with finding out that you and Meredith have been basically negative about me from day one, and continuing to have discussions about how I am bad for Andrew up until this very day. What is your actual view on Andrew's 30th? Seriously, I'm interested. You can ask Mike how much preparation went into it, and how worried I was about whether me being there would be a problem, and how I wanted to make sure everything went ok. Just humour me and explain how the hell that fits in with your opinion of me?
And you're right about the cat, that was a very nice thing to do, and I had forgotten about it. I thank you heartily and apologise for not taking it into consideration. Although, is it too 'manipulative' of me to point out that Denver is now officially Andrew's cat as well, and you _were_ looking after her because I was going down south to visit Andrew. You know, the guy who I'm with just for his money. And that I've lied to. Oh, except you haven't actually been able to tell either of us what these lies are, despite multiple questioning. Interesting, that.
no subject
I never said Meredith didn't like you when she met you. I said that the problems she's had with her have been there from the start. You two do not look at the world the same, do not interact with the world in the same way and do so to such an extent that you just don't get on.
What problems Meredith has with you is for her to say and she did in a letter to you. She only wrote that letter because you spent two weeks writing a letter that slagged her off in a half dozen ways after we tried (not very well I'll admit) to sort out some problems. Yes, both people were bloody annoyed (your reply and her reply to your reply) and both of you are stubborn as all hell, so both of you know think that the other is an insane/evil/bitch queen. Please don't pretend that you were all love and kisses in that letter and I won't pretend that Meredith was reasonable in her reply.
My view on Andrew's 30th was that it was a very nice/good party. You were a good host and everyone had a good time. Do you have a problem with that?
As to the cat. I looked after the cat, cos it was a cat that needed looking after. I have no problems with the cat. The cat is fine. I'm happy to look after cats anytime.
Hugh