andrewducker (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
andrewducker) wrote2004-06-12 10:33 am
andrewducker) wrote2004-06-12 10:33 am
Advice Please
A long time ago, I used to believe in things like 'objective morality', 'absolute rights' and 'objective aesthetics'. Obviously, as I grew up and started paying attention, I realised that what these actually meant was 'The way I'd like people to behave', 'The way I'd like people to be treated' and 'The way I like things to look'.
Since realising this, I've become a lot more understanding of other people, realising that if they like people behaving differently, like people to behave differently and like things to look differently, then of course they have different morality, rights and aesthetics and that's just fine. My opinions aren't privileged over theirs and while there's no objective reason why I shouldn't go around forcing my opinions on them it makes for a quieter life if I avoid doing so unless their opinions/actions make me feel grossly uncomfortable (i.e. engaging in torture or wearing a particularly vile hawiian shirt).
However, from time to time I have to deal with people that think that these things mean more than that (although none of them have ever been able to give any reason why they do). I find it almost impossible to negotiate with them because while I'm phrasing things in terms of what I like/dislike, or what I'm comfortable with, they're telling me that I'm categoricall wrong. As I don't view it as possible to be wrong about these things, I'm at a loss as to know what to do.
Any suggestions?
[Poll #306886]
Since realising this, I've become a lot more understanding of other people, realising that if they like people behaving differently, like people to behave differently and like things to look differently, then of course they have different morality, rights and aesthetics and that's just fine. My opinions aren't privileged over theirs and while there's no objective reason why I shouldn't go around forcing my opinions on them it makes for a quieter life if I avoid doing so unless their opinions/actions make me feel grossly uncomfortable (i.e. engaging in torture or wearing a particularly vile hawiian shirt).
However, from time to time I have to deal with people that think that these things mean more than that (although none of them have ever been able to give any reason why they do). I find it almost impossible to negotiate with them because while I'm phrasing things in terms of what I like/dislike, or what I'm comfortable with, they're telling me that I'm categoricall wrong. As I don't view it as possible to be wrong about these things, I'm at a loss as to know what to do.
Any suggestions?
[Poll #306886]
Re: fundamentalists
Grow up.
"I have a clear logical view of the universe, you are a bit misguided but I can show you the error of your ways, he/she is a fundamentalist."
All beliefs - all - are subjective. Yours aren't privileged just cos you're an alpha geek. Using fundamentalism as an insult here is just saying "I'm right, you're wrong, yah boo sucks" - exactly what you've just accused the "fundamentalists " of.
You think you're so smug about having no subjective claim to truth, but I bet I can predict RIGHT NOW what you believe to be the essentialist truths of the universe: coding is good, fashion is bad, monogamy is for wimps but actually you only ever sleep with one person, religion is bad but believing that science is more important than art, beauty or love is good. How right am I? We ALL have subjective opinions and beliefs. No one is much worse at this than anyone else. Anything you can actually prove tends to be opretty trivial in the feelings department. Real wisdom is to acknowledge this.
Nosce seauton.
Re: fundamentalists
I'm somewhat confused.
Re: fundamentalists
Re: fundamentalists
Where did I ever say that I'm always right in knowing they are always wrong? That's rather confusing. Did we read the same comment?
Coding is only good if it makes me money or helps me communicate. I code because I'm good at it and the money is good. I couldn't have my lifestyle as a masseuse yet there are times when I'd love to give up the coding all day and instead spend my time making others feel better. Money is a right royal bastard.
I wear silks, velvets, and regularly order from International Male.
I have many friends that practice monogamy and it's wonderful for them. I sleep with many people. I have sex with fewer. I cuddle with more. Using the phrase "sleeping with someone" to mean having sex with them is rather misleading.
Religion is definitely not bad. I happen to host the DNS and mail for Church of All Worlds. I happen to be very religious and very spiritual.
In the list of science, art, beauty, and love, science comes in fifth; at least in the manner that you are thinking of it. Any of these can be found in any of the other three. My favorite Museum in DC was the Corcoran Art Museum, not the Air & and Space.
How right are you? Well, if you were trying to describe me, you did a pretty miserable job. If you'd taken even a brief glance at my interests list you might've realized that you were targetting the wrong person.
If you looked, in my comment, I presented a variety of options: "swayed by logic, some by beauty, some by passion, and some induction". Of those I find that logic tends to be the most useless to use since anything can be proven with logic. For me, I use intuition as my guide through life and I make up the reasons later.
As I mentioned to