andrewducker (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
andrewducker) wrote2018-08-13 04:00 pm
andrewducker) wrote2018-08-13 04:00 pm
At age 45 I'm still discovering things about women
I can't tell if women assume that the things that happen universally around them also happen around men, or if they know that men aren't aware of them and think that it's pointless to mention them.
Because it was many years into my life that I heard about some of the awful things that women have to put up when walking around. Because nobody has ever yelled sexist things at a woman when I've been standing next to her. Nobody has ever followed a woman I'm with down the street for fifty feet asking her on a date until she has to go into a shop to hide from them. Nobody has ever exposed themselves to a woman I've been standing with. (To pick a few examples of things that have happened to women I know.)
And I didn't tend to find out about these kinds because women actively told me. I heard about them through being there when a woman was telling another woman.
Today's one was hearing from a female friend that since she changed her profile picture three days ago (to a really lovely portrait) that she's had six friends requests from guys she's never met, and has no friends in common with. And then having her friends chime in with defense methods (not allowing friends requests from people they have nobody in common with, setting their photo to be something other than their face), and to mention how often this happens to them too.
Which makes me wonder what other things are happening to women that I have absolutely no idea about.
And, going back to my opening line, I've had both reactions from women. Sometimes amazement that "How can men not know?" and sometimes "There's no point telling a man, he won't be supportive." I suspect we're going to need several more #MeToo moments to get more of this out in the open.
Because it was many years into my life that I heard about some of the awful things that women have to put up when walking around. Because nobody has ever yelled sexist things at a woman when I've been standing next to her. Nobody has ever followed a woman I'm with down the street for fifty feet asking her on a date until she has to go into a shop to hide from them. Nobody has ever exposed themselves to a woman I've been standing with. (To pick a few examples of things that have happened to women I know.)
And I didn't tend to find out about these kinds because women actively told me. I heard about them through being there when a woman was telling another woman.
Today's one was hearing from a female friend that since she changed her profile picture three days ago (to a really lovely portrait) that she's had six friends requests from guys she's never met, and has no friends in common with. And then having her friends chime in with defense methods (not allowing friends requests from people they have nobody in common with, setting their photo to be something other than their face), and to mention how often this happens to them too.
Which makes me wonder what other things are happening to women that I have absolutely no idea about.
And, going back to my opening line, I've had both reactions from women. Sometimes amazement that "How can men not know?" and sometimes "There's no point telling a man, he won't be supportive." I suspect we're going to need several more #MeToo moments to get more of this out in the open.
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I thought maybe I had dropped my wallet or something like that, so I turned around and said "What?"
And he yelled "Fancy a fuck?" at me in tone of voice that made me feel very unsafe.
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I still manage not to loudly sexually proposition strangers. It's not a lot to ask.