andrewducker (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
andrewducker) wrote2002-03-17 08:58 pm
andrewducker) wrote2002-03-17 08:58 pm
Tension, Apprehension, and Dissension Have Begun
Well, not begun, but continuing apace.
Joe seems determined to alienate pretty much everyone he knows here, leading to much bafflement and confusion. Life had been, until recently, delightfully quiet, with me happily avoiding all the usual fun and frolics that had made life exciting and remarkably stressful between 1990-1995. However, it appears that it was not meant to be.
One day, I'll find myself surrounded by people that can actually get along with those around them, not have huge emotional reactions to other peoples reactions and, when there are problems, have an initial reaction of "let's see if we can sort out where these problems come from" rather than "That Bastard! He'll pay for this!!"
We'll all live in a nice candy coloured house, and farm flying pigs together.
Oh, and 7.43 cool points to anyone who's read the book that the subject line above comes from.
Addendum: Some time later (apres Bath)
So as not to give the wrong impression, I haven't taken offense at Joe, despite the general name-calling and unpleasantness. I'm worried, concerned, and generally stressed at the situation, but I'm, personally speaking, not actually angry. I have too much faith in Joe (and in my friends generally) for that. (I've been told before that this faith is a weakness, but I'm convinced it's a strength).
My reaction also seems to be tempered by my general change over the last couple of years, initiated by looking after Gina when she was ill. More on that later, when I've had time to let this settle inside me so that it can burst, fully formed, from my skull.
Joe seems determined to alienate pretty much everyone he knows here, leading to much bafflement and confusion. Life had been, until recently, delightfully quiet, with me happily avoiding all the usual fun and frolics that had made life exciting and remarkably stressful between 1990-1995. However, it appears that it was not meant to be.
One day, I'll find myself surrounded by people that can actually get along with those around them, not have huge emotional reactions to other peoples reactions and, when there are problems, have an initial reaction of "let's see if we can sort out where these problems come from" rather than "That Bastard! He'll pay for this!!"
We'll all live in a nice candy coloured house, and farm flying pigs together.
Oh, and 7.43 cool points to anyone who's read the book that the subject line above comes from.
Addendum: Some time later (apres Bath)
So as not to give the wrong impression, I haven't taken offense at Joe, despite the general name-calling and unpleasantness. I'm worried, concerned, and generally stressed at the situation, but I'm, personally speaking, not actually angry. I have too much faith in Joe (and in my friends generally) for that. (I've been told before that this faith is a weakness, but I'm convinced it's a strength).
My reaction also seems to be tempered by my general change over the last couple of years, initiated by looking after Gina when she was ill. More on that later, when I've had time to let this settle inside me so that it can burst, fully formed, from my skull.
The difference
I have no problem with you being grumpy, everyone gets grumpy. I do have a problem with you getting grumpy and then saying "Well, I'm grumpy, if you loved me you'd love my grumpiness too." Behaving like a dick and then saying "Well, what can I say, I'm a dick." doesn't make it better and I can't see how it's going to lead people to treat you more like a friend.
And yes, certainly, friends are the people you can say "fuck you" too, and they come back. But if you treat people like shit without explanation or apology, then I can't see any reason for them to think it's worth being your friend in the first place.
I mean, I'm sure there are people more tolerant than myself, but most of the people I know are neurotic, don't fit in, and deep down are paranoid that their friends aren't really their friends at all. I can't see that matching very well with your nehaviour. As Gordon's said (in a reply to my post here), he's not hating you, he just wants you to apologise for the way you treated him, which wasn't even slightly like a friend.
Re: The difference