andrewducker (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
andrewducker) wrote2012-01-28 03:06 pm
andrewducker) wrote2012-01-28 03:06 pm
Addressing ettiquette and wedding stress
I'm sending out wedding invites at the moment, which is making me aware of all sorts of in-built biases in the conventions surrounding how we address people. I'm skipping over a lot of it by using first names for everyone, but even then there's a question of order. For older people I'm largely going with Male Partner, Female Partner, Children in order of age, but reversing the male/female order when the email address is for the woman of the house. For people nearer my own age I'm going with "Partner I know best->Partner I know less well, Children in order of age". Lesbians go in the order that I'm used to people putting them.
The whole invitation thing has been more stressful than I thought, largely because the venue has space for 80, and it turns out that Julie and I have 57 family members between us, so there are only 23 spaces for friends. This means that we've had to cut some cousins I haven't seen in 20 years, and restrict a few people to not having +1s if we're going to fit in even the people that we see/chat to on a regular basis, and a couple of really old friends. And the reception can take 30 more, but that still left us with 57 people that we don't have space for. I just hope people understand.
The whole invitation thing has been more stressful than I thought, largely because the venue has space for 80, and it turns out that Julie and I have 57 family members between us, so there are only 23 spaces for friends. This means that we've had to cut some cousins I haven't seen in 20 years, and restrict a few people to not having +1s if we're going to fit in even the people that we see/chat to on a regular basis, and a couple of really old friends. And the reception can take 30 more, but that still left us with 57 people that we don't have space for. I just hope people understand.
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We get called Mo & Erin by nearly everyone and I don't remember ever expressing a preference - and Morin is as prevalent as Errag (that is, 'not very'). Weirdly if one were using my full name, I think 'Erin and Morag' sounds a little better than 'Morag and Erin', but no one ever calls me Morag any more, certainly not in conjunction with Erin.
Ari and Lizzie were always Ari and Lizzie until their LJ happened. Now I'm not sure which I use more. Interestingly 'Lari' is used for them way more than either of our nicknames as far as I'm aware...
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And I started putting Erin first after you asked for it, a fair while back (and the same with Errag, which I started using after you said that was what you preferred. I think it was over at your place, I said Morrin, and you said you preferred The Errag. I don't have documentary evidence, of course :->
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As to Errag I definitely do say that when people say Morin but it's actually "The Errag" because it sounds like some sort of monster. I actually think portmanteau names are daft and don't care whether people use them or not, or what they use if they do.
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