andrewducker (
andrewducker) wrote2010-11-07 09:27 pm
Employment confusion
When I was unemployed for about 18 months back in 1994-95 (just after graduating), I was sent on a few training courses, and put into unpaid work placements.  Is this actually different to what's currently being proposed?
I'm not trying to snark - I'm actively confused as to whether this is in any way a new thing.
I'm not trying to snark - I'm actively confused as to whether this is in any way a new thing.
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I ignore the fact that I have heating because I don't want to use it. Ever. That means living mostly in one room with doors closed and wearing the warmest clothes I have handy. Almost everything I eat goes in a George Foreman grill because - other than it being wonderfully convenient - I'm convinced it's cheaper than the conventional cooker.
I'm hoping I can afford waterproof stuff to see me through this winter, as the stuff I currently own is mostly 2-3 years old.
I live on the smallest amount of money I can possibly get away with, and have never been more content.
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It isn't actually an argument at all, just a personal statement. A bit of background is required....
My last job, I worked up to 75 hours a week, but because of various moneys I had stripped off by our last govt. I went home with about [on a very good week] £300. On a bad week I had £165. That mostly sucked, was utterly exhausting and unsustainable. Eventually my life fell apart and I became homeless in February.
I had the usual jobcentre interviews and whatnot, ended up in a homeless hostel. Fortunately the JC folks were canny enough to appreciate that if I worked I'd have to pay rent for the hostel at £35 a night - and as such 99% of the jobs they could offer wouldn't earn enough to break even. So I told them the truth: the instant I had my own place I'd go self-employed. They accepted that, turned a blind eye as I handed them page after page of rejections [most of which were actually real. I found that I didn't have to fake rejections, they happen just fine all by themselves].
I'm now a full-time student. I work weekends earning whatever I earn. But I'm so god damned terrified of living above my means that I spend *not a single penny* that I don't absolutely have to. Now, because I have the one thing I've desperately wanted my whole life - ie, my own flat - nothing much else matters.
But that's because I hit bottom. Life got so unbearably shit I had a simple choice of sorting it all out Right Fucking Now, or dying. And I do not want to die.
So, if I allowed myself to think about it I'd hate the fact that I'm afraid to turn the heating on. So I pretend I don't have any. I strip away layers of concern so I have less to worry about.
and because of that I've never been happier.
and no, I'm not remotely happy about Dave 'arsing genius' Camerons plan to limit social housing terms to 5 years. Because that means I face the utter hell of February all over again just when life should be working out.
further note: while I firmly believe I could [and probably do] live on £50, I do not ever want to be forced with that option again.
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I have a terrible habit of saying what I think I mean, rather than what I actually mean.