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andrewducker ([personal profile] andrewducker) wrote2010-02-03 11:00 am
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[identity profile] heron61.livejournal.com 2010-02-03 08:54 pm (UTC)(link)
That was my own reaction. That article was classic victim blaming.
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[personal profile] andrewducker 2010-02-03 09:38 pm (UTC)(link)
I find the whole "victim blaming" thing, when used in this context, incredibly counterproductive. I was bullied repeatedly in multiple schools (as we other people I know) and nothing I have ever seen indicates to me that bullying is something that's possible to stamp out. Saying that we can't help people to deal with a situation that they're almost certainly going to have to deal with, because that would violate some kind of dogma seems ridiculous and actively malevolent towards those people. I'd have killed to be given advice as to how I could improve my situation - and if I could have done so through a little bit of help with social situations then I'd have been ecstatic.

Nobody is saying that we shouldn't clamp down on bullying wherever we see it - all of the schools I was in had anti-bullying initiatives, and there are near-constant adverts and campaigns against it in children's media. It's possible to work to help people deal with situations while also trying to alleviate those same situations. The approaches aren't contradictory.

[identity profile] nancylebov.livejournal.com 2010-02-04 04:55 am (UTC)(link)
Agreed, though at this point, I'm wondering if at least some bullies are also deficient in social skills, and could use some coaching.
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[personal profile] andrewducker 2010-02-04 08:12 am (UTC)(link)
Absolutely - see above for my discussions with zornhau on teaching empathy.

[identity profile] luckylove.livejournal.com 2010-02-07 04:27 am (UTC)(link)
I was bullied for several reasons.
1. I looked like a "paki"
2. Despite being born and bred in Scotland I had an English accent (this did not go down well in small town Scotland)
3. I was very intelligent

Short of taking a bath in a vat of bleach, not speaking ever again and hitting myself in the head hard enough to induce brain damage there's fuck all I could've done to stop the bullying. I was 4. The bullies were 11. The headmaster just said, "It's a sign of the times," and "If it's any consolation, I get called names too." My Mum took me out of that school a few weeks later. There were far too many bruises.

None of the schools I went to had anti-bullying initiatives when I was there. Nothing. The guidance department's interventions just made matters worse. I ended up turning to self-harm just to get through the day.
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[personal profile] andrewducker 2010-02-07 04:51 pm (UTC)(link)
And that's definitely a situation where they should have been doing a lot more to help you, rather than just saying "it's a sign of the times", which is frankly shit.
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