Welcome to the 21st century.

[andrewducker]

I can understand why there's a stereotype of feminists as humourless.

I mean, if you're used to being able to make jokes about horrible things happening to women and then a group of people start telling you that they don't find this funny then your perception of them is going to be that they just don't have a sense of humour.  After all, you don't _seriously_ want bad things to happen to women, you're just having a laugh, right?

My old friend Ed went to this debate in which a controversial comedian debated whether it was ok to make offensive jokes.  Frankie Boyle used his moments on the debating stand to tell a series of increasingly unpleasant jokes - all of which got a massive laugh from the audience, except when they touched on a subject just a little too close to home.  My friend found himself laughing at all sorts of appalling things, until the subject was (coincidentally) turned onto his own situation, at which point he found himself thinking "but that's not funny".

Because it's never funny when it's about you.  It's only funny when it's about someone you don't care about. 

Or, at the very least, if you can pretend that nobody you know is like that.

It's much easier when you live in a nice insular environment, where you only really know people like yourself, and you certainly only socialise with people just like you.  Then you can bask in in-group/out-group socialisation to your heart's content.

Not to easy when you're on the internet, and people are likely to pop up at any moment and point out the flaws inherent in something you thought was innocent fun.

The question is - how do you deal with it when someone points it out?  Do you have to let the flaws ruint it for you because they offend someone else?  Do you have to argue that there's nothing wrong with the thing you love?

If you care (and nobody is going to make you) then some very useful hints and tips can be found here.  The flow-chart at the end is particularly good.

Comments

[chuma.livejournal.com]

I think they are entitled to complain, but stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason. The goth kids on South Park make me laugh even though it is effectively picking fun at a label that describes me. I see characteristics of myself and many of my friends in the stereotype, but they are exaggerated in order to make fun of them. Sure, complain if you want to, but do I really understand? No not really. I see Hugh Grant playing English stereotypes all the time and not identifying with him on any level whatsoever, but I wouldn't set up a discussion topic on him.

[andrewducker]

I think they are entitled to complain, but stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason.

Yes. And in a lot of cases that reason is to keep control over people who up until 40 years ago didn't have the right to vote. I'm lucky, the racism that I might face isn't going to be major, and it's likely to always be in the form of humour.

In the States there's still a lot of very unpleasant racism that's expressed through violence and intimidation. And if you've spent most of your life dealing with that kind of atmosphere then you're going to be very sensitised towards it.

[marrog.livejournal.com]

It's a little different ripping the piss out of a group of people who've chosen to dress and behave in a certain way and reinforcing stereotypes about a group of people who've been historically enslaved/butchered/etc due simply to the colour of their skin. Srsly, there's just no comparison. There's a big difference between racism and taking the piss out of babybats.

[chuma.livejournal.com]

Sure, there may be a big difference, but the problem is that I can only relate to any experiences through my own. I cannot know how it feels for a black person to be racially abused, I can only draw comparison as best I can. However there is also the world of difference between racism and making a joke about, lets say, dead hookers. All things can be said to have their differences.

[lizzie-and-ari.livejournal.com]

Incidentally, where do you draw the line between born with e.g. race, disability and people who chose certain behaviour?

What about religion? This is a choice, technically, but it difficult to pick and choose between your feelings and beliefs and this can be so closely linked to culture and upbringing. Some people are gay but make the ‘life choice’ not to be, they suck it up and date the opposite gender or remain celibate. And, in either case, miserable. With the possible exception of disability (most kinds) it is possible if you choose to cover up anything about your life in the same way as you choose to behave in certain ways. I don’t know enough about it, but suspect there are those who equate gothdom with being a kind of religion (and it ties closely to some religions). I totally understand your point – but where is the line?