Bullying and friends

[andrewducker]

This post rang a lot of bells with me. I was bullied a lot by boys (at an all boys school) - and nowadays a large chunk of my friends are female. I don't think it's nearly as simple as that, but I'm intrigued.

[Poll #1329681]

Comments

[meihua.livejournal.com]

(x) I was bullied a lot as a child and most of my friends are female.

[celiaka.livejournal.com]

Where's the I was bullied a lot as a child and most of my friends are 50/50.

[autopope.livejournal.com]

You forgot: single sex school, or mixed?

[lebeautemps.livejournal.com]

Bullied some, and until recent times, most of my friends were boys. It's not that I don't like girls, its just that I'm not into the pettiness/nastiness/stuff.

[cdave]

Picked on a bit, but not a lot. A fair mix of gender between friends. But now I think about the ones I generally feel closest are women.

[communicator.livejournal.com]

I really don't know whether I have more male or female friends. I used to have more male friends, when I was at school.

[palmer1984.livejournal.com]

I was bullied at school, by both boys and girls. I've got an equal number of male and female friends now. Being bullied has made me a bit suspicious of people who remind me of the bullies at school - laddish men and very fashionable girls!

I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to steal the poll, but make it more complicated :).

[princealbert.livejournal.com]

neither bullied nor have friends predominantly of one sex.

[hawkida.livejournal.com]

Bullied a fair bit in the lower years of senior school. No idea whether most of my friends are male or female, I'd guess at roughly 50/50.

[ophelia-complex.livejournal.com]

There should be a tick box for 'no close friends'

I was bullied by both boys and girls incidently. Lovely!

[johncoxon.livejournal.com]

Your poll displeases me! You haven't included different options for the social group that did the bullying.

[draconid.livejournal.com]

I have very few real "friends" nowadays so can't really vote.

I was bullied as a child because I was nerdy.

I had more male friends than female friends in Uni because I was nerdy (and had masculine hobbies).

I don't think the bullying has made any difference to the sex of my friends, but the bullying and large number of male friends have the same cause.

[kurosau.livejournal.com]

That post seems to me to boil things down to the argument "boys are mean, girls are not" and therefore I don't really agree with it. It is true that the majority of my bullies were male, but my perception of gender in regards to cruelty isn't based on that alone. Maybe I wasn't scarred deeply enough, but I believe I know that what evil lurks in the hearts of men also lurks in the hearts of women.

[endless-psych.livejournal.com]

I was bullied in school and my friends are roughly equally male and female.

[babydyke-82.livejournal.com]

i went to an all girls school and was never bullied but when I got to uni loved having the (previously denied) chance to have male friends.

Re: bullying

[wolfieboy.livejournal.com]

Like many of the others here, I used to have predominately opposite gender friends but as I went through my 30's, the gender balance sorted itself out.

As for bullying, I was the omega dog. That was lots of fun.

[neferet.livejournal.com]

Bullied a lot by both genders. I usually have more male friends than female, because I can relate to men more easily. What is possibly interesting is that I am reticent in developing physical aspects of trust with men (who used to beat me up), but develop a mental/emotional sense of trust quite quickly, whereas women are the complete opposite; I'm very slow to develop mental/emotional sense of trust(the girls used to be more psychological in their bullying).

[themongkey.livejournal.com]

Where's the option for "I was bullied a lot and have no friends"?

Hmm... wonder if there's a cause and effect there. And which is which.

Snowflake answer

[yalovetz]

I was bullied a little bit by both boys and girls, and my friends now are a mix of various different genders.

[marrog.livejournal.com]

This may be your least useful poll yet for telling you anything that means anything much...

[moniqueleigh]

Meh. I'm in agreement with others that the wording on this poll leaves your results of little good. You don't mention whether the bullies in question were of the same or of different gender.

Personally, I was mostly psychologically/emotionally bullied by the same gender (girls) at a mixed school. The boys would join in sometimes, but not overly often. My friends were a mixed bag, but a slightly higher percentage of girls who experienced similar bullying from the "popular" crowd (or those who wanted to be in that crowd).

In high school & college, most of my very close friends started veering more towards guys (I'm of a geeky persuasion, leading me to hang out with the geeks, meaning more guys). Now in my mid-30s, I have three truly close RL friends: my hubby, JD, & Suzanne. So, 2 of opposite gender & 1 of same. But I've never been one to have lots of close friends anyway. I've always had lots of acquaintances & very few actual friends.

[meico.livejournal.com]

I must remember that your technique of purposely providing inadequate options in a poll to cause intense discussion is worryingly effective...

In any case, that does not mean I'm immune...

Bullied a lot in early years by same gender and now have friends of all sorts...

[davesangel.livejournal.com]

What about options for those who were bullied in their youth, and who now bully those of the opposite gender because it's easier to project all their hatred onto a group that's less likely to hurt them in return?