Social categorisation for beginners

[andrewducker]

1.) People who don't grok social cues = Asperger's Syndrome
2.) People who see, yet choose not to acknowledge social cues = Quite possibly Sociopathic
3.) People who only use social "cues" (hints) to communicate = Passive Aggressive

Stolen from the ever-sparkly autodidactic

Comments

[sterlingspider.livejournal.com]

Hey, when did you meet my housemates?

[yalovetz]

So what are people who are excellent at reading social cues but relatively poor at putting them out?

[pisica.livejournal.com]

I'd modify number 1 to accommodate cultural differences. I simply don't have the innate awareness of some social contexts that British people do. (F'rinstance, I will offer the electrician a cup of tea, but it's because I have consciously learned that this is correct behavior in my current social context, not because I instinctively offer tea to anyone who walks through the door.)

[andrewducker]

Well, if you don't instinctively offer tea to anyone who walks through the door then you're clearly not British...

[pisica.livejournal.com]

I suppose that's not entirely a parallel situation, but let's say that the electrician starts hinting about his cup of tea - I am quite likely not to pick up on his social cues unless I have already consciously observed or been told that it is accepted behaviour to offer said cuppa.

[pisica.livejournal.com]

And yet that is not part of the Britishness test I will have to take to become a citizen! Clearly this test is WRONG.

[dapperscavenger.livejournal.com]

In regards to #2 - a sociopath does not 'choose' to misinterpret social cues. I believe also that is more a case of misinterpretation than non-acknowledgement, as my brother (who is a sociopath) says his problem is that he can take things the wrong way. Which leads to badness.

[andrewducker]

What kind of wrong ways? Because sociopaths tend to also respond to things in an aggressive way. It's not that they don't necessarily fail to understand - it's a lack of caring about the person they're dealing with.

[azalemeth.livejournal.com]

Hmn. What if you alternate between all three?

[andrewducker]

I wasn't trying to imply that I knew more about your brother's behaviour than you, by the way - just curious as to his behaviour.

[channelpenguin.livejournal.com]

Don't we all have the ability to know that something we do will upset/hurt someone - but to do it regardless? Or to know something will please them and not to do it.

imo, sociopathy seems like being more calculated about everything, and only doing what achieves your own personal goals (long or short term). Which might include being nice to people if that works better, or being nasty if that works better - each interaction on its own benefits - or maybe part of a calculated chain.

Everybody does this to varying degrees - so where is the cutoff point?

[octopoid-horror.livejournal.com]

People on livejournal = generally claim to have asperger's/be bipolar/both

It's shocking how, since it ended up being talked about on the news etc a lot the other year, about 75% of my friends list is absolutely certain they have asperger's, without going to the bothersome step of speaking to any kind of medical professional. What a horrifying undiscovered epidemic there is.

[marrog.livejournal.com]

...or maybe that's what he'd like you to think...

Sorry, you probably get badly informed sociopath jokes all the time. Or maybe there are few people in the world as tasteless as me. It's a toss-up.

[marrog.livejournal.com]

about 75% of my friends list is absolutely certain they have asperger's

...And about 75% of those are just trying to find an excuse for their shitty social skills?

Well, that's hardly unusual; think about the lazy sods you know who claim to have ME or SAD.

[octopoid-horror.livejournal.com]

Actually, I'd say 100% of those.

Mysteriously none of the self-diagnosing types dare to speak up about the terrifying stigma that they live with to anyone other than livejournal, myspace, deadjournal, internet fora, mailing lists and random strangers in nightclubs. It is a plague for our postmodern times.

I knew one chap who -actually- had been diagnosed with SAD. In the winter months, he'd turn up to work wearing a baseball cap with a little light on the underside of the bill. That, obviously, was how we found out - it led to questions, and then answers. I also know a lot of people who are looking for an excuse for shitty social skills, or are just jumping on a bandwagon. Line it right up with the usual other "OMG I suffer from ______ like all my online friends" suspects

[octopoid-horror.livejournal.com]

Perhaps tea-related activities are so British that even strange foreign types shouldn't need to be tested on this - when you spend more than 72 consecutive hours in the balmy climes of Blighty, you should have the inherent knowledge of tea rituals embedded in your psyche.

[jccw.livejournal.com]

Not part of the written test, anyway...

[pisica.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's because I live in Scotland, land of 'you'll have had your tea'?

[pisica.livejournal.com]

Oh bloomin 'eck, there's a practical?

[pisica.livejournal.com]

Bizarrely, I know someone who likes to accuse other people of having Asperger's. Without worrying about such petty things as whether or not they have the slightest training to diagnose such a condition (= no). And they make the same glib connection as the person who wrote the list in the original post (= you don't get my social cues? you must have Asperger's! QED!).

Er, no.

[khbrown.livejournal.com]

Well, isn't that about the different cultural meanings of tea - tea as a drink or tea as a meal?

[andrewducker]

I do not have Asperger's.

However, I do think that Asperger's is merely a point on a continuum, and that I'm further down that continuum than the average. But nowhere near enough to actually be diagnosed, or use it as more than a "Well, that's intersting." in conversation.

[nameandnature]

See also. Encyclopedia Dramatica is the definitive reference, of course.

I'd note that the one person I know who has been medically (as opposed to self) diagnosed with Asperger's is lovely.

[surliminal.livejournal.com]

Oh yes. This will involve eating picnics outside on freezing cold beaches in force 8 gales while not choking on sand, eating cockles and mussels, and singing Cockney songs round the piano in an "East end pub" TM.

[surliminal.livejournal.com]

Oh they talk about it lots to the DSS, and their directors of studies..

BTW which of the three are you Andy? Shouldn't this have been a poll? :-P